Reasonable Question, Ridiculous Answer

[Pagafyr]

A: Taek wood trees are the heaviest kind and are highly desired trees for crafting.  A Teak Wood tree trunk is so heavy I don't believe it can actually be determined if it was alive and kind of like it's roots kicking when they cut them down.  I read that they won't sink in water when they are floating because they don't absorb water.  They just sink and so they have to load them on barges to transport them to their destination.

Q: Are Ants covered in Armor? 

[Oblivionaddicted]

According to many rumors the ants are clad in a chitin armor, which makes sense if you ask me.

 

Since mercury is a metal and a deadly poison as well as a part of thermometers, if I want to assist to a death metal concert especially featuring remixed Queen songs made with their singer Freddie Mercury do I have to go to a thermometers factory?

Edited August 15 by Oblivionaddicted

[Pagafyr]

A: I knew this was going to happen.  I just knew it.  Freddies Dead with Freddy for five nights.  I seriously think Mercury is a guy with shoes that have wings on the shoes.  He can fly.  His feet never touch the ground.  He can do 25 miles in 15 minutes.  He was so fast he ran out of existence.

While the other deliverers running on their feet are still slow, they made it on time, and often die when they get to their delivery point because they didn't rest.  Not once.  They just ran and ran because they were told to.  They were told the message they were delivering was so vital it would change the world as they knew it if they did not deliver it on time.  Mercury broke the mold and now, and now, nothing happens to confirm the person sending the message was serious.  Mercury faded out after no life changing event occurred.  I was given a letter.  Told to run without stopping or a life changing event would occur if it was delivered on time.  Mercury already proved nothing changed.  So I stopped after about twenty and had a drink at the local establishment with the message I had in tow.  Took my time drinking.   Two minutes tops.  The people who were expecting the message weren't there when I arrived.

They all perished.  I walked back to the place I was given the letter.  No one there either.  I opened the letter.  No one was around to read it anymore except me.  It was to me.  It said, because you didn't deliver this message you are alive.  Don't eat the shiny silver blob on the table this time.  Go find that rock some guy was asked to turn into bread.  It's just a dried up loaf of bread.  Go heat up some water and while it is boiling put the stone in a fish bowl, hold it over the steam.   In about 5 seconds the stone will become a soft loaf of bread.  You can eat it.

I wouldn't though because it was part of a classic tale I remembered.  I wanted to preserve it for other people to see.  I waited outside the pub for the tavern owner to open the place holding the loaf of solid hard bread.  The tavern guy didn't show up.   It was passed 10:00 AM and he never was late before.

Then I remembered. Everyone was gone.  I didn't deliver the letter on time and I was all by myself.  What a bummer!

I started a fire.  Filled a pot full of water.  I looked for a child's sized fish bowl.  The ones for when I got my first fish and learned about how quickly the fish used up all the oxygen in the water.  No one told me that the fish breathed oxygen out of the water and needed fresh water every morning.  I didn't change the water the next morning after I got it.

I started the water boiling.   Put the dried out old loaf of bread into the fish bowl.  As the water boiled I turned the fish bowl upside down and let the steam in.  What do you know!  It got soft!  I noticed something dripping from the bread.  I held the bowl off to the side of the fire.  The little drops fell on the side.  They were sitting there separate and suddenly they joined into one bigger puddle.  I was fascinated.

I pulled the soft bread out of the fish bowl.  I thought about eating it.  I looked at the shiny spot on the side of the fire pit.  I poked at it with my finger.  it moved.  I poked at it again pressing down harder on it, and it split in two.  That was so much fun I poked at it over and over until little spots of it were spread out all over the space.

A guy walked up to me.  Held a letter out to me.  I took it.  He slumped down and died.  I opened the letter.  The message said.  Don't play around with that shiny silver stuff.  Eat the bread.

I ate the bread.   I looked at the shiny silver stuff and it had regrouped into the bigger glob again.  I was about to reach for it when another runner came up and held out a letter.  He died.

I opened the letter.  Leave that shiny silver stuff for a guy that appears as if by some sort of magic.  I was about to put the letter down when a man appeared.  He had shoes on with wings on the shoes.  He held out a letter.  He stood still.  Yet his feet didn't touch the ground.  He was floating on air.

I opened the letter.  It said.  point at the shiny silver stuff so the guy sees it.  I did.

He looked at me.  That's liquid metal.  Where did it come from.  I held up the bread that I hadn't eaten yet.  He smiled.  It's a good thing I got here before you ate that bread.  It's the rock of ages!

I frowned.  What's a rock of ages do?

If you ate it you would have become wise, wiser than anyone ever who lived before you.

I looked at him.  Wise?  What is that?

He looked at me.  Pointed at the blob on the side of the fire place's.  Try to pick that up!

I couldn't.  It moved every time I tried to pinch it.

Now you should know something you didn't know before.

Know what?

That you can't pick up that shiny silver stuff and eat it.

So what?

You're wise now!  Wiser than you were before.

So what?

Look.  You ate about half the loaf of bread.  But you barely had any show of being wise.  Now, if you eat the rest of that bread then you will be the wiser.  With all of it eaten you will be All the Wiser!

What happens if I don't want to eat it?

You'll be half wiser!  A half wit.

What's the difference between being a half wit and All the Wiser?

Eat the rest of the bread before it turns back into a stone and you will know.

You're Mercury!!!

Yeah!  The last time I was here I used four bird feathers and managed to get that blob of shiny silver stuff to stick to them.  I can fly.  Because I was wiser I made this shoes into flying shoes.  Now that you're wiser that will be what you do.  So I can fly...

I grabbed the shoes off his feet.  Thanks for saving time for me to think up that idea.

He sank down to the ground.  I wrote a letter.  I gave it to Mercury.  Read it!  I put on his shoes and flew away.

He read it.  Don't let the wise guy take your shoes the next time.  I wrote another letter and delivered it in under 15 minutes from 25 miles away.  Mercury took the letter.

Q.  Do you know what the letter I wrote to Mercury said? 

Spoiler

Nothing!  Because; letters can't talk.

Don't be too quick about thinking about it.  Take your time.  I will write another one before you finish thinking of an answer.  I am All the Wiser now with shoes that make it so I can fly.  Thanks to four birds wings I had left over after I ate the chickens.  Did you know that without that mercury in their feathers chickens can't fly?

[Guest deleted156886133]

A: I believe that you believe mercury in feathers enable chickens to fly.

Q: Why does the sound of running water intensify the urge to urinate?

[Karna5]

A: Prisoners don't long for freedom unless they wish they could go home. The urine in your body hears its friends and begs you to let it free. (The solution, of course, is to be very kind to your urine in which case you never need to pee.)

Q: Why a mouse when it spins?

[Pagafyr]

A: I've never known a mouse when it spins.  I saw a movie about a mouse that roared.  It must have dropped something and was looking for it since it fell out of its mouth right where it was standing when it dropped it.  Maybe a spider tricked the mouse so it would spin around like mad chasing the stuff the spider snatched out of its mouth.

Q: Are you All the Wiser or just Stupefied by the many things there is to learn that some times you didn't know until you have some interest in finding out about what got your attention and you get a little more wiser? 

[Oblivionaddicted]

I'm essentially stupified by the lack of wisdom the average individual shows notably the average person prefers basking in its ignorance and prejudices rather than questioning itself.

 

Since the separation of powers is a fundament of democracy and sinc many CEO's have a political power while many politicians work as advisors for companies would it be false to call them capitalist apparatchiks?

[Guest deleted156886133]

A: Nah. I'd just call them greedy, high-functioning sociopaths.

Q: Why so serious?

[Karna5]

Answer (to why so serious):

Eyes can't see what's right before
Dreams fade to a distant roar
Whispers guide throughout the night
Lost my way can't find the sight

Shadows dance as all goes gray
In a world where dark holds sway
Memories of colors bright
Now just echoes in the night

In the dark I find my way
Feel the wind and hear the sway
Hands outstretched in search of dreams
In my head the silent screams

Touch becomes my eyes anew
Every step my fear breaks through
Wishes are a falling star
In the black is who we are

Pain will call where eyes can't go
Dance in beat to every woe
In the dark I lose my way
Blind forever and a day

(c) 2024 Guglielmo Earthbound

Question:  Why is a candle faster than an apple?

[Pagafyr]

A: Because all of us who wear dark cloths so the audience doesn't see us on stage moving the props around so they think the apple and the candle have a life of their own.

Q: Who invented the gag glasses with eyeballs on springs that bob about when you move your head?