Valve, you're pathetic.

[Halororor]

First, they tell us this,

 

Dear Subject Name Here,

 

Aperture Science is pleased to inform you that we have partnered with Valve to announce the gala CANCELLATION of the June 14 Portal 2 event at the Regal Theater. The event will be replaced by a surprise. And even though the cancellation of the event certainly counts as a surprise, we are pleased to further announce that the cancellation of the event is not THE surprise. However, per International treaties regarding the definition of the word "surprise", of which both Aperture Science and Valve are signatories, the time, date and content of the actual surprise will only become available as you experience the surprise.

 

If you'd like to ask fruitless questions about the E3 Portal 2 surprise or, more fruitfully, schedule an appointment to attend a Portal 2 screening at the Valve booth during E3, please contact Valve's Special Envoy to Surprises, Doug Lombardi.

 

Thank you for [RECORD SCRATCH!!!]

 

PS: The surprising record scratch is also not the surprise.

 

Then get us all excited for the surprise, just to tell us the surprise is Portal 2 is coming to PS3. Wow. That's just astoundingly lame.

[Dark0ne]

Way to alienate your core platform users, Valve! :thumbsup:

 

People always forget about the ridiculous lies they spread about Half-Life 2 back in 2002, and then the brilliant debacle revolving around the "our code got stolen, time to start again" crap and the revelation that all those "totally unscripted events" were really just scripted events.

 

People like to think the sun shines out of Valve's backside but it really, really doesn't.

[Mercbird]

The demon gods of sales and marketing hard at work :down:

[ub3rman123]

Man, Valve just needs to drop their marketing department, they aren't helping sales in any way. Only reason they're still a top gaming company is because they hire the best developers out there, and make awesome games.

[Retribution]

I agree. Valve doesn't understand that their customers are pissed off at them. 3+ years with no info on Episode 3/Half Life 3 is not alright, it's ridiculous. There has only been 2 concept images, nothing else. Any other developer would have already released the game. Then they spring this stuff on us, and expect their core customers to not be angry? Well, who am I kidding? Their core customers are now mostly people playing Left 4 Dead on consoles. I'm sick and tired of Valve.

[Eiries]

I too have waited a long time for an HL2 Ep 3. The entire point of making it episodic was so they could release them on a modular basis in a shorter amount of time than a typical full game would be released. So much for that.

 

But we'd better get used to 'em folks: every one of us PC players will require Steam to install New Vegas.

 

I love blowing hard drive space on crap I shouldn't need.

[ub3rman123]

I wonder if they could have released Half Life 3 before Episode 3 in the time they've taken on it. Probably.

 

That episode had better be epic and huge to make up for it.

[Retribution]

Someone on the Video Games board of 4chan, /v/, posted like 5 threads where he answered people's questions about Valve stuff. He said he was a level design guy that was currently working on Half Life 3, but had worked on Portal 2 a couple months before. He said this stuff:

 

 

1) The game will begin in a helicopter, with Alyx weeping as you fly through a storm. 2) Much of the game will take place in mountainous regions, as well as Borealis, which is HL3's "Citadel." 3) You will encounter a group of isolated, broken soldiers who have gone partly mad and believe they're still fighting the war. 4) There will be overlap with Aperture. 5) There are several new enemies, including a spider-like creature and a camouflage creature. 6) Vehicles will return, including heli-piloting. 7) The gravity gun will take a backseat to another gun. 8) The game will be about as long as HL2 plus the episodes. 9) All of the creatures have been redesigned. 10) One of the levels he worked on revolves on the manipulation of lightswitches and certain creatures that can't handle light. 11) The game will rely on Source 2. He compared the visual quality to that of the pic of barrels floating in water that surfaced some time ago. Someone post it. 12) The visuals are on par with Crysis. 13) Barney will save your ass in a level.

 

 

This guy was either an extremely well researched and intelligent troll, or actually a person that works at Valve.

[ub3rman123]

8) The game will be about as long as HL2 plus the episodes.

 

That's definitely trolling, no way they would make that much and not just call it Half Life 3. And those last two points.

[Dark0ne]

4chan; the pillar of all truth and seriousness on the Internet.