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The Snow Arena


Dark0ne

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Marxist ßastard works quickly to repair a flat tire on his Katslusha Launcher, unaware that he is just a few hundred kilometers from the final destination of the massive, crawling flames consuming the Earth. As the fire crawls towards him, his men scatter... Merely standing up, he sees nothing. However, getting on his toes, he sees an apocalyptic sea of flames crawling toward him. In a panic, he readies the launcher, figuring it would be better to die in a gigantic explosion of nigh-frozen water and ice shrapnel than to be left in the all-consuming fire. With all the artillery fired, he runs toward his target.

 

Minutes later, he awakens... "Remarkable," he mutters to himself... All his limbs have been torn off and his blood was quickly escaping him, but it seemed that he was shielded from the blast by his weapons of mass snow-covering. In a moment of pure astonishment, he successfully balanced himself using his shoulders and tongue. Realizing his new objective, however, he stopped making a desperate attempt at dancing and set out to carve the first of many Ash Cossacks. While spitting out the charred remains, he whispers but one thing...

 

"Oh, yes... We'll be counting cards..."

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Malchik, only slightly hungover crawls out of his sleeping bag and finds he is in an ice cave,

 

Gnngg????

 

Quickly getting rid of the last of the brandy and dressing in his trusty multi-dimensional trousers of ubiquity, Malchik studies events in a scrying glass that looks very like a bird bath in a very well know film.

 

So. Everyone is against Peregrine are they?

 

Donning the shirt of morphing and the underpants of interstellar travel he realsises he looks like a total pratt. He dresses again with the underpants inside the trousers and the shirt buttoning up at the front.

 

He dematerialises to go in search of a peace offering and arrives uncomfortably landing on Peregrine's head clutching his gift - a box of Cornflakes.

 

"Erm - hi. I've come to offer my help together with my army of uber-fleas that travel with me and - er - anyone who gets close to me."

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Falling from the sky from an all too powerful jump spell Shinjioh picks himself up and gazes out at the freezing wasteland "okay, no moreparacetemol and alcohol at the same time"

 

instantly he sees malchik with his army of fleas shin reaches deep into his trenchcoat pocket and brings forth an enchanted spoon, spoon of invisibility shin scoops up some snow and bends back the spoon

 

Bang falconing Malchik in the back of the head.... "bring it" he proclaims

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*Acrid uses his forgotten amulet of divine intervention to return to the ruins of earth1,

 

*I did this? thinks Acrid to himself, then he looks up to see a big white ball, wait it's a planet...earth2

 

*Acrid slowly but shurly swims his way through space to earth2, buring up in the atmosphere he falls all the way to the cool snow

 

*Damn I'm meesed up! says Acrid as he hobbels away. I will need a new kingdom, but whats this a casino? hmm must be Mojlnirs work, no dobt he thought my threat was long past

 

*Acrid enters the casino looking for Mojlnir but only finds slot machines, after spending all his money on gambling and cheap beer, Acrid is thrown out of the casino

 

*Acrid then wonders away into the snow

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Malchik wonders how the snow has penetrated into the depth's of Peregrine's hideaway and bats it back whence it came with a choice selection of doom fleas. These immediately attack Shin's shins burrowing beneath the skin to produce the 'OMIGOD I can see an army of pink bunny rabbits flying towards me' illusion.

 

It is clear he has knocked Peregrine senseless by landing on his head. (Unless there was no sense there to begin with?) So he eats a bowl of cornflakes and continues to wait for the bird man to come round.

 

With another quick glance into his 'Galadriel super beta tested scrying bowl' he sees that there are restless natives afeet - or should it be afoots?

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shin looks down at at his shins... "curse thee malchik" as he opens up abottle of enchanted iodine and pours it over his legs :bye:

 

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH" the scream brought down a mountain of ice over shin

 

"oh shucks"

 

Shin ate his way through the snow to see his next attacker arriving

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*Acrid drunkenly turns around to see what the F*** was thart sh**? and steps on ShinJioh smashing it itno the snow

 

*Acrid then starts to build a nuke but is so drunk it becomes more of a modern art masterpeice, Aware that he's too wasted to make a nuke Acrid craws inside the tower like missle sticking up from the snow and calls it home

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Switch appears in the strange arena, wondering what Dark0ne was on when he thought it up.

 

"Well... this looks interesting."

 

He then notices he's in the middle of the crossfire and ducks under a pile of snow.

 

"Eep."

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*Acrid hopes the Dark One doesnt recall his time travel attack on him, Acrid quickly hides in the nose of the missle tower

 

*I'm too drunk for this!!!!!

 

*Acrid takes starts moving snow in his tower to build a wall betwwen him and any intruders

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