Alternate Identity- Are We The Same People Online?

[Fkemman11]

Do you ever think about you in life somewhere, maybe drinking after work with friends or walking your dog or maybe taking a vacation somewhere? You know, YOU? Now how do you get along with those around you? Are you perceived as worldly, intelligent? Are you kind to others- attentive to their needs perhaps? Do you like to get to know people and listen to their tales or opinions? Do you laugh at a joke played on someone or yourself? Would you help an old lady to cross the street to demonstrate your good will? Do you ever donate to charities? Are you patient with your friends and family during disagreements?

Something happens to some of us when we get online though. Our personality goes from being one of patience and good will, born from a necessity to smoothly interact with society at large- to one of decidedly more personal interests and tastes that through the anonymity of the web, one can be somewhat more forceful in their views and much more callous to others. So the internet, being wholly disconnected from the physical world and any risks that go with it, might seem the ideal place to "vent" one's aggression. Of course the opposite could also be true. But when's the last time you witnessed someone being a better or nicer person online than in their actual life?

While this might be done under the guise of being anonymous, that person will still become "known" in a given community if they are there long enough. That "known" entity is still you, isn't it? It is your opinions and views on life and other subjects that you are expressing, or is it? What is different? The allure of "speaking" long and loud with hardly any repercussions or reprisals and NO physical risks whatsoever is too big an opportunity for some to pass up. Now one can trumpet to the heavens about one personal or collective agenda or another, that they might not utter a peep about in their home town. And they do not feel the need to extend any common courtesy to anyone that dare have a different view. After all, what is the harm of speaking passionately about your views when everyone knows that words cannot hurt you or anyone else?

Words do hurt- as well as inspire. Unfair or downright insulting comments serve to provoke anger, fear, loathing, and hatred- or at least extreme dislike. While behaving this way may serve one individual's needs or wants, it diminishes the community as a whole. There is a good reason that any one person's feeling of invulnerability in any community is despised. It is because the subsequent behavior is belligerent, mean, and highly disrespectful. The "commune" part of community means a group of people living together and sharing possessions and responsibilities. In other words, we are all responsible for our actions- or words- both in our lives and on the internet.

So a modicum of "online integrity" can only be maintained if everyone participating observes a kind of netiquette that allows for everyone to have a voice without being offensive. Being louder and cruder than the next person is not "winning". Neither is repeating the same thing over and over. And for those that are simply being mean and disrespectful in life and on the web...please realize that once you damage or destroy some things- they may never be useful or enjoyable to anyone ever again.

 

Sorry, if that came off sounding like a lecture. What I was really trying to explore is how we may act much differently among strangers in an online world. For instance, someone that is not normally "flirty" in life, may be very much so in an online chat or forum because of the absence of any prior knowledge about them- hence, no direct judgement of their "real" character or "selves". I can see where pretending to be someone else could be quite entertaining, if also partially or completely misleading. Oh, the turmoil when someone gets caught, though!

[Mudran]

I met some people in RL after I met them on internet and some of them were different, but not always worse. Where someone can be more aggresive someone else can be just more bold. But I also met some people who were very successful in RL, but on internet almost nobody knew about them - they barely said anything. They had no reason to be active there really.

But generally it is funny how sometimes you imagine always extremes, but when you meet those people in RL, all of them are just ordinary with their own problems.

 

And about playing different personality - I guess it is also more safe, because not everybody has good intentions and people have tendency to say all kinds of things about themself - also another feature of annonymous internet I guess, but then when someone can track them down, he can use it against them - and some groups I saw on internet almost felt like that kind of people... So that or have all kinds of nick names :p then it can be also quite good therapy, where you can share your problems without seeing the other person and you can feel better if someone can understand you even if in RL you would never say that and you would be alone with your problems.

[TheMastersSon]

IMO it comes with the territory. When people can claim anything about themselves, the only practical option is to believe nothing. It's why I never engage personal squabbles or attacks in online discussions, almost without exception the animosity is due to anonymity and boredom and nothing else.

[Skagens]

The internet is safety, and anonymity is a big part of that. I have the opinions that I have but if I were to voice some of them in public or to a coworker, I could have the risk of getting fired or publicly shamed. People always rant about how there is no wrong opinion or that voicing you concerns and thoughts are never a bad thing but that's not entirely true. Many topics are controversial, and for many, there are "right" opinions and "wrong" opinions. If you have the wrong opinion, some people see you as an enemy and need to be defeated. This may cause you to get bullied, harassed, publicly shamed etc. just for voicing you opinions. That is, if they know who you are.

 

With the internet, I can relatively safely voice my opinions without much risk. I know myself that I am a different person in real life than I am online. The reason being is that being judged or ridiculed online doesn't even compare to being so in real life. I also struggle with being social. I can say something that I may mean in the best intentions but someone can interpret what I say as an insult, because I don't really know how to communicate properly. In real life, I tend to be very selective of what I say so as to not offend or hurt anyone, but mistakes happen. Online, I don't have that fear. I could care less if I offend anyone on here, because the face-to-face element isn't present, but also because I don't actually go out of my way with the intent of offending anyone. People decide themselves if they want to be offended or not.

 

I don't pretend to be someone I'm not, the internet is a place where I can be who I am.

[HeyYou]

I am pretty much the same idiot in person, as I am on the internet. :D

[Aurielius]

I am pretty much the same idiot in person, as I am on the internet. :D

I asked a couple of friends that I met here on Nexus and now know well in real life..they said more or less the same thing (excepting the idiot part). :unsure:

The only difference to the two personas is that the net version is more circumspect about what personal information I share. Nothing dies off on the net, the net is well stocked with trolls , two facts that I kept uppermost in my mind whenever I'm tempted to reveal anything truly personal.

[Fkemman11]

I am pretty much the same idiot in person, as I am on the internet. :D

LOL! Same for myself. Iv'e got a big mouth and tend to say much more than needed many times. You know, my brain is screaming "SHUT UP!!" and the mouth just keeps going. Thanks for the laugh. :tongue:

 

@ Aurielius- I know what you mean. As mentioned, I have a tendency to say to much sometimes, possibly giving personal info a little. Identity theft and stuff is what I worry about. Although the technology for androids is progressing pretty fast, some angry poster gets my address and sends HK-47 to take me out!

 

@ Skagens- I understand what you mean. I typically avoid convos with the local wildlife where I live because they are all wrapped up in the here and now- never pondering the why or how of life. It's not so much that I worry what anyone thinks of me, they just don't get me or some of what I say. When I stray to far off "How bout' the weather?", ppl in my town just look at me sideways. Although the local college is a little better. I'm simply getting old enough that people becoming but-hurt over something I say doesn't matter much to me if I didn't mean it to be offensive to begin with. But I'm that way face to face as well.... :happy:

[HeyYou]

 

I am pretty much the same idiot in person, as I am on the internet. :D

LOL! Same for myself. Iv'e got a big mouth and tend to say much more than needed many times. You know, my brain is screaming "SHUT UP!!" and the mouth just keeps going. Thanks for the laugh. :tongue:

 

@ Aurielius- I know what you mean. As mentioned, I have a tendency to say to much sometimes, possibly giving personal info a little. Identity theft and stuff is what I worry about. Although the technology for androids is progressing pretty fast, some angry poster gets my address and sends HK-47 to take me out!

 

@ Skagens- I understand what you mean. I typically avoid convos with the local wildlife where I live because they are all wrapped up in the here and now- never pondering the why or how of life. It's not so much that I worry what anyone thinks of me, they just don't get me or some of what I say. When I stray to far off "How bout' the weather?", ppl in my town just look at me sideways. Although the local college is a little better. I'm simply getting old enough that people becoming but-hurt over something I say doesn't matter much to me if I didn't mean it to be offensive to begin with. But I'm that way face to face as well.... :happy:

 

You are most welcome. :smile:

 

It's getting to the point that it simply doesn't matter WHAT you say, someone will find a way to be offended by it....... That seems like WAY too much work for me, so, I take what people say at face value, and fully EXPECT that some folks are going to have different opinions than me. It's truly unfortunate that there are so many folks out there that when the come across someone that doesn't agree with them 100% (inevitable....) they start calling them names, accusing them of all sorts of heinous behavior, etc..... A lot like politics in the US these days........ Makes me want to jump in the ol' time machine, and go back to the 50's.......

 

I am also very careful about what kind/how much personal information I give away on the net....... But, it's quite likely that folks could come up with just about everything they wanted to know with a simple google search. I can already find WAY more information about myself on the net, than I have EVER put out there myself..... I find it..... disturbing......

 

Oh well. Welcome to the information age. :D

Edited November 14, 2017 by HeyYou

[PkSanTi]

I remember I had a girlfriend when I was fifteen and sixteen years old. My girlfriend was a pretty simple girl; I did like her very much, but not much of her was outstanding. I never used Facebook very much, but one day I went to my girlfriends facebook, and notice that she was something totally different in the social web. Lot's of the things she claimed to do and be were simply lies -probably lies to herself more than lies to others; probably that was who she wanted to be-; she said she read books she never did, because she thought that made her intelligent (yes, it was all that silly); she said she was a communist, because she thought that made her interesting; she said she was a feminist, because she thought that made her committed; she started listening to classical music, as if that made her... well, I don't even know what she wonted to be or show by now. I realised that she was absorbing things of my personality and other's personality, and making those her own in the internet, even when she wasn't interested in books or music.

 

It didn't take too long for me to end the relation, for several reasons, one of the many being this nearly sociopathic behaviour. By today, nearly five years after, I came across her a few times, and noticed that her web persona had taken control over her real persona, and that she had adjusted her real personality to the one she created on the web, when the reasonable thing to do would be the opposite. I've found many cases like this in real life, mostly in adolescents; cases where the web identity becomes bigger than the true one and, eventually, ends up changing it so it fits with her fictional character. Is an interesting thing.

 

Anyway, just sharing this particular case I've lived related to the topic.

Edited November 15, 2017 by PkSanTi

[TheMastersSon]

Chances are she'll eventually grow up and out of it, because in the end the only person fooled by pretension is the pretender. E.g. for those who meet your ex in person and discover she's not who she claims to be online, nobody other than her looks foolish. The problem is self-correcting. But imo one also should not discredit out of hand the actual change that online activity can effect in a person's life. More than one of our friends have transformed their lives due to online exposure to things that they were previously unfamiliar with. It's true from professional chefs to skydiving instructors and wingsuit pilots. Edited February 19, 2018 by TheMastersSon