Should arranged marriages be allowed?

[Tidus44]

Nintii.... I'm laughing so hard tears are running down my leg. Good argument. Edited December 9, 2012 by Tidus44

[DeadMansFist849]

Also, you can't compare trying to get a child to eat healthily with forcing that child to get married just after puberty (or as soon as they're legal) or forcing them into body modification of any sort. That's a terrible analogy. (Not to mention that when you have a child who has a sensory aversion to certain kinds of food, there's no sense forcing the issue. You find some other way to get them to eat nutritious food that doesn't subject them to the colour/texture etc. that they can't eat.)

 

 

Actually I can compare anything I want to any other thing I want because I have the freedom and right to do so. Further, I can do so without taking a single point of a conversation entirely out of context and then adding some convoluted imaginary conditions and completely off topic issues to justify my opinion about it in order to state exactly what is right and wrong or what others may or may not do.

 

"Free speech" does not suddenly make your argument valid. Sorry, but this isn't Faux News, not all points of view are equal. Some are just complete and utter nonsense. You can stand outside and be a doomsayer, without getting "disappeared", but that does not mean other people have any duty to take you seriously at all.

[Lisnpuppy]

There has been a plethora of reports on this one little thread. We are all getting tired of them. Follow BBens post and stay on topic and stop making and taking things personal. The next report I see I am shutting this down and reviewing it for possible further moderation.~Lisnpuppy

[HeyYou]

I think one culture trying to inflict their values on another culture is simply a bad idea. The US has tried it a couple times, and none of them have been what I would consider 'successful'.

[Ghogiel]

Well my fellow Nexusites, from their standpoint their way is the correct one ... the ways of the West to many in the world

are alien, unworkable, impractical and quite foolish.

So if I get this straight, because headhunters in the jungle think wearing a pair of pants is alien, unworkable, impractical and quite foolish, makes cannibalism OK.

 

This argument has nothing at all to do with the merits of arranged marriage. Nor is it reasoned. The main failing is that it is strawman, where you talk about all manner of things that is not arranged marriage, add a ton of hyperbole and then declare them silly in your opinion. You haven't validated arranged marriage because the west is comprised of inbred country hicks.

 

It's "their" right to choose their ways ... forcing others to choose your way is no freedom at all, it's dictatorial and who gave

you or I (the West - of which I'm a part) the right to think and choose for others ?

Freedom to choose is exactly that ... freedom to choose.

Yeah exactly. Protecting equality and the freedom to choose is of the up most importance. Cultural practices should be weighed to that criteria.

Edited December 9, 2012 by Ghogiel

[Nintii]

Well my fellow Nexusites, from their standpoint their way is the correct one ... the ways of the West to many in the world

are alien, unworkable, impractical and quite foolish.

So if I get this straight, because headhunters in the jungle think wearing a pair of pants is alien, unworkable, impractical and quite foolish, makes cannibalism OK.

 

This argument has nothing at all to do with the merits of arranged marriage. Nor is it reasoned. The main failing is that it is strawman, where you talk about all manner of things that is not arranged marriage, add a ton of hyperbole and then declare them silly in your opinion. You haven't validated arranged marriage because the west is comprised of inbred country hicks.

 

It's "their" right to choose their ways ... forcing others to choose your way is no freedom at all, it's dictatorial and who gave

you or I (the West - of which I'm a part) the right to think and choose for others ?

Freedom to choose is exactly that ... freedom to choose.

Yeah exactly. Protecting equality and the freedom to choose is of the up most importance. Cultural practices should be weighed to that criteria.

 

Ghogiel, you know that murder is wrong, and so to bring something so extreme into the equation like cannibalism

and place it side by side with a "loving parent" who has obviously taken the time and effort to find a suitable

person - where they literally interview each other's families and in all probability know them for donkeys years - doesn't

really make much sense, it's unbalanced ... almost like a fight between a gun and a stick.

 

You must remember that in many of these cultures they view it more like marrying the family and not the individual.

Have you actually taken the time to see what checks and balances these cultures put into place to ensure their

son's or daughter's well being ?

Arranged marriage is as normal as breathing for many a people, perhaps if we took the time to get to know the

various peoples involved our (definitely limited) Western viewpoint would be different.

 

I personally know many of these cultures on a one to one basis and in all honesty, if the truth be told, it's our western

way of life that has has done more damage with our so called freemdoms and rights than any "self-inflicted" harm.

 

Sure there will always be an exception to the rule but it's exactly that ... an exception.

Plane crashes are bad right, they kill plenty of people in one fell swoop but you don't go banning planes or trying to

force people to cross the ocean by ship because of an accident now do you ?

Of course not, because we understand that as horrific as a crash may be, flying is still one of the safest methods of

travel in the world.

So too with arranged marriages, a couple might fail but the absolute overwhelming majority of them don't, as a matter

of fact they work better than ours.

 

Btw, it's good to see that you've finally voted ... and wuz honest hehehe.

 

@ Tidus44 ... there was an extended R rated version ... but because I'm a good girl now snip, snip, snip.

[Ghogiel]

 

Ghogiel, you know that murder is wrong, and so to bring something so extreme into the equation like cannibalism

and place it side by side with a "loving parent" who has obviously taken the time and effort to find a suitable

person - where they literally interview each other's families and in all probability know them for donkeys years - doesn't

really make much sense, it's unbalanced ... almost like a fight between a gun and a stick.

 

Reductio ad absurdum. It doesn't matter what I put in there. I could just as well say because people in X culture that has arranged marriages, think western < insert aspect of western culture> to be alien, unworkable, impractical and quite foolish, makes arranged marriages OK. It demonstrates that your argument is based on a strawman.

 

You must remember that in many of these cultures they view it more like marrying the family and not the individual.

Have you actually taken the time to see what checks and balances these cultures put into place to ensure their

son's or daughter's well being ?

Arranged marriage is as normal as breathing for many a people, perhaps if we took the time to get to know the

various peoples involved our (definitely limited) Western viewpoint would be different.

 

I personally know many of these cultures on a one to one basis and in all honesty, if the truth be told, it's our western

way of life that has has done more damage with our so called freemdoms and rights than any "self-inflicted" harm.

I'm sure various cultures do it in their own way and sure certain family members are checking to make sure the union is good for everyone. And yeah study of the culture itself and how the cultural practices work is necessary before making a conclusion whether it promotes and perpetuates inequalities and such etc.

 

Sure there will always be an exception to the rule but it's exactly that ... an exception.

Plane crashes are bad right, they kill plenty of people in one fell swoop but you don't go banning planes or trying to

force people to cross the ocean by ship because of an accident now do you ?

Of course not, because we understand that as horrific as a crash may be, flying is still one of the safest methods of

travel in the world.

So too with arranged marriages, a couple might fail but the absolute overwhelming majority of them don't, as a matter

of fact they work better than ours.

While the thought of banning planes, alcohol and vegetables is amusing, it has nothing to do with people's behavior, what a person's freedom and rights as an individual should be. These are things and objects. I don't see their relevancy.

 

Does less divorces mean marriages are working better though. Considering everything, it could mean there is more outside pressure to stay together in an arranged marriage. Perhaps there are more unhappy couples sticking it out for what ever reason. And I am sure the same can be said for forced marriages, do they work better than ours(sic). In any case being subjectively good or better isn't going to get it a pass.

 

 

Btw, it's good to see that you've finally voted ... and wuz honest hehehe.

 

 

No one really wants to actually talk about arranged marriages, we've seemed to establish some grounds, but I'm not terribly interested in the subject itself nor have I read enough on it to figure out if it is actually an old wonky institution perpetuating a form of inequality or a benign cultural practice. There doesn't seem to be any feminists in this thread/anyone well clued up on this subject to convince me completely that it is one way or the other,

therefore I haven't actually got enough data to make up my opinion on the matter.

Edited December 9, 2012 by Ghogiel

[HeyYou]

arranged marriages aren't always the boon some folks seem to think. It originated from feudal lords cementing alliances with others via marriage. Not too much different from that now. There isn't always 'the best interests of the bride/groom' in mind here. For the most part, it's "what's best for the family as a whole." Some parents may marry their young daughter off to some unsavory character that could be decades older, simply for the advantages it presents for the rest of the family. Is it 'wrong'? Not for me to say. I live in a culture where it does happen, but, is extremely rare, and for the folks that REALLY don't want to go along with the families desires, they have options. (of course, that generally includes alienating their family......)

 

To each their own.

[NemesisTheWarlock]

deleted Edited December 11, 2012 by NemesisTheWarlock

[HappyHerring]

The purpose of arranged marriage has always been about the relationships between families and branches of families rather than the individuals being married. There are numerous studies reflecting on the practice, we see it reflected as far back as classical Greece. The need to trade wealth and status and favours between branches of family ensure that the cultural practices have a big stake for the participants. The costs apart from what is in many cases a life of misery for all involved can mean generation after generation of close cousins marrying each other and producing levels of inbreeding and deformity above and beyond any found in European royalty. A case in point in the U.K. where Pakistanis following such cultural traits are reported to have five times the level of birth deformities above other elements of the population!

 

:facepalm: