Using Skyrim to help me go from introvert to extrovert

[Guest deleted4349949]

@stuff444 - You know, for all the thought I put into this, you'd think I would have given the title a little more than the passing consideration it actually received from me.. ah well, lesson learned :P
As I often do tend to nit-pick topics down to the semantics as well, I should have chosen my words more carefully - but in all honesty, I was so nervous about this whole thing while I was writing the first post, I'm amazed I wrote anything legible at all... So I'll take the improper word usage in stride and use it as a lesson for the future :)
You, and the few others who have mentioned this previously, are of course correct... introversion is based on a method in which our brains choose to process information and stimuli. However, don't assume that the title is a misrepresentation of my character. Just out of curiosity, I recently took the Myers Briggs personality test and, though I don't remember the exact percentage, I scored above 90% on "Introversion", with a final type indicator of INTP (so you can probably guess which side I'd be on in the debate you mentioned) :P

 

I do indeed prefer a mostly quiet life with the occasional small group interaction... however, the key idea there is *mostly quiet*. You have to understand... I have no friends. I have a few acquaintances with whom I trade facebook messages then and again (maybe two or three back-and-forths a month?) and several old friends that I barely keep in touch with at all (until recently, thanks to this project). Even an introvert like myself can't survive on ZERO social interaction - that crosses the line from introvert to antisocial/sociopath. The problem is that when the times comes that I feel the need for some social interation... I don't have anybody to turn to.. I don't have any options. It's been so long since I've had the chance to interact with anyone (besides my bug, and she's pretty much in the same boat as me) that I don't even know how to respond in a non-awkward way to the cashier when I go to the store - so I elect to use the self-checkout instead. The subtleties of conversation and the social rule set I'm supposed to know intuitively are alien to me, and I can tell that it's going to make life much harder than it needs to be in the future (dealing with college, interviews, etc). And because of this, I become overwhelmed by a great amount of anxiety when a social situation arises.

 

 

So, putting aside the poorly thought out title of the topic (my apologies, of course), yes I am introverted, yes I am shy, and yes I am *very* anxious. The real idea here is to familiarize myself with the art of social interaction and to give myself some social options for when the need to step outside my bubble a little bit arises *and* to make sure that those moments are as smooth and satisfying as possible, and not filled with massive amounts of awkward :P

 

 

And now you know way more about me!! Oh, and you're pretty cool too! :D

[sisterof]

Baldur's Gate I and II are two of my favorite games ever (and the list is pretty short). There was a mod for the Throne of Bhaal that added character development for Irenicus and by the Gods... what joy it brought me. Great characters, great villain, great voice actor for him. I never played pen and paper because of social issues. Since I'm a lousy gamer and a slow thinker, I'm afraid of multiplayers too - I get the impression my party will be killed because of my suckiness or people will just find my roleplaying shitty. Alas, woes of shyness.

Being introverted also has little to do with not wanting interaction - humans are social animals. And that's why our current society makes it so depressing for introverts. We're made to believe that a happy life consists of massive socialization in person and on the internet, parties, family gatherings, community and so on, and that wanting to be alone means you're grumpy or sad instead of simply someone who enjoys your own company (something several people do not). Meanwhile, introverts feel drained even after short interactions, are labelled "boring" by the most extroverted folk (and by society itself) and made to believe there's something awkward or wrong with them for not "keeping up". If we can interact with a more selected group and on our terms, we don't feel overwhelmed.

As for anxiety, which is unrelated to being intro/extrovert, now that's something that needs fixing, because it's not a trait but rather a disorder, and can indeed get in the way of a functional life. If you're having a lot of issues with it, I'll just grab my Captain Obvious hat and say you'd probably benefit a lot from meeting a good therapist. Social anxiety is a learned behavior and has deep roots. It usually has a cause too. It may be a traumatic event, or something much more subtle like high expectations from you and people around you. I've mentioned before Skyrim and some games pushed me into an epiphany not unlike your own - I too used them to reach out. My presence in this very forum is a direct consequence of my "this social anxiety is bulls***". I still cringe every time I press the "post" button or see one of my sentences being quoted - even if by someone I find less than worthy of such worry, the mere fact that someone is criticizing my words makes me nervous. That's a big part of anxiety - the feeling of vulnerability. Why is it so hard for anxious people to talk on youtube or forums? Because they put their very beings in line. So they cannot separate criticism (or sheer aggression) against their expression/art/etc, and against themselves as people. I see that now, and try to fix it in myself, but it doesn't happen overnight.

About the videos - the 15min format is indeed much better. I have a hard time sitting through videos/movies/etc - passively receiving information makes me restless, so it's better when it's in smaller doses. The camera is a good idea too. If your girlfriend is in the same boat, then it's a great plan to drag her in too. The fact that you aren't doing this to, say... get a related job or whatever is very freeing. There's no pressure for "something to come out of it", so you two can use the time to have fun, run some social experiments and get some self-knowledge.

INTP? I'm an INTJ. I'm still waiting for the "genius" part to manifest itself and balance out all the emotional/social inability. :biggrin: It's a very good and well based test. And my ego enjoyed being called "mastermind", when my strategical skills are indeed pretty much like a dog running after a car in movement (a quote everyone probably recognizes, and a perfect one too).

[Liquidfire22]

@stuff444 - You know, for all the thought I put into this, you'd think I would have given the title a little more than the passing consideration it actually received from me.. ah well, lesson learned :P

As I often do tend to nit-pick topics down to the semantics as well, I should have chosen my words more carefully - but in all honesty, I was so nervous about this whole thing while I was writing the first post, I'm amazed I wrote anything legible at all... So I'll take the improper word usage in stride and use it as a lesson for the future :smile:

You, and the few others who have mentioned this previously, are of course correct... introversion is based on a method in which our brains choose to process information and stimuli. However, don't assume that the title is a misrepresentation of my character. Just out of curiosity, I recently took the Myers Briggs personality test and, though I don't remember the exact percentage, I scored above 90% on "Introversion", with a final type indicator of INTP (so you can probably guess which side I'd be on in the debate you mentioned) :P

 

I do indeed prefer a mostly quiet life with the occasional small group interaction... however, the key idea there is *mostly quiet*. You have to understand... I have no friends. I have a few acquaintances with whom I trade facebook messages then and again (maybe two or three back-and-forths a month?) and several old friends that I barely keep in touch with at all (until recently, thanks to this project). Even an introvert like myself can't survive on ZERO social interaction - that crosses the line from introvert to antisocial/sociopath. The problem is that when the times comes that I feel the need for some social interation... I don't have anybody to turn to.. I don't have any options. It's been so long since I've had the chance to interact with anyone (besides my bug, and she's pretty much in the same boat as me) that I don't even know how to respond in a non-awkward way to the cashier when I go to the store - so I elect to use the self-checkout instead. The subtleties of conversation and the social rule set I'm supposed to know intuitively are alien to me, and I can tell that it's going to make life much harder than it needs to be in the future (dealing with college, interviews, etc). And because of this, I become overwhelmed by a great amount of anxiety when a social situation arises.

 

 

So, putting aside the poorly thought out title of the topic (my apologies, of course), yes I am introverted, yes I am shy, and yes I am *very* anxious. The real idea here is to familiarize myself with the art of social interaction and to give myself some social options for when the need to step outside my bubble a little bit arises *and* to make sure that those moments are as smooth and satisfying as possible, and not filled with massive amounts of awkward :P

 

 

And now you know way more about me!! Oh, and you're pretty cool too! :biggrin:

 

Hello,

 

Ofcourse it's none of my bussiness. But I have several valuable resources that can guide you in some of the social interactions. But I ask you before-hand whether you want me to share them publicy, or though PM.

 

In all case let me share these wise words, if you ever think you do something wrong.

 

"You are enough"

 

 

Goodluck,

Liquidfire :)

[stuff444]

Well s***. I had a long post ready to go and it went poof when I hit post! I will paraphrase.

@ShiverTwitch
My MB scores are pretty much the same as yours. Now I know without a doubt you are cool :cool:. Get a dog if don't already own one.
I also had good luck at the bottom.

 

@sisterof
Spot on on the two middle paragraphs . I won't "quote" ya, :wink:

Edited April 12, 2013 by stuff444

[Guest deleted4349949]

@sisterof - You're more than welcome to join me and my friend (and possibly the bug if we can scrape up enough money for an extra copy) when we eventually get around to playing BG:EE! It'll be a while though. We won't be doing any hardcore character role-playing, just playing through for fun, so that's one thing you wouldn't have to worry about :)
I actually never beat ToB! My dad "accidentally" gave a box away to some charity that had all my original BG I, BG II, and Myst series games in it :'(( so I was never able to complete it. I got it again years later, but haven't had the inclination to start over yet. And yeah, I'll definitely be sticking to the ~15min videos from now on. Easier to make, easier to edit, easier to upload, and easier to watch :P Still working on getting a webcam, but my dad has some small cameras that he uses for recording motorcycle trips and even smaller ones that he's planning on securing to the nose of his RC Planes to record their flight that he's letting me borrow and experiment with. The Bug has agreed to be a part of this as well! She's up for a multiplayer LP and even recording some hiking/exploring stuff.

Also, my Bug is an INTJ as well! INT FTW!!!

@Liquidfire - Thanks, I appreciate the offer! But I think that my current project is proving so successful for me because it's self-conceived and self-propelled. I fear that I'll get thrown off track if I start allowing outside influences to guide my decisions on what to do and how to do it. I've always had bad luck with following self-betterment regimens - be it socialization or exercise or anything in between - and I tend to get disinterested in continuing them very fast. Idk why... perhaps it's just my stubborn ego rebelling against a perceived threat of authority? In any case, thanks again, but I think I'll pioneer this path on my own for now :D

@stuff444 - There's only enough room in my apartment for my cat! :P Also, you should get in the habit of just hitting a quick "Ctrl-A, Ctrl-C" every time you start a new paragraph - or just whenever you think to do it. I still need to get in the habit myself, but luckily the Bug has taken it upon herself to remind me every minute or so when she sees that I'm typing a long post - like this one!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v233/Chaos13/eead89cd-58be-4846-b925-8653e6a67efa_zpse7895bf3.jpg

ALSO, a new video will be up shortly! I've been a little under the weather and a little stressed, so expect the commentary and gameplay to be a little more mellow (I tried :/). Also I was having a little difficulty with the sound levels, so what appeared - to me - to be nicely balanced after a few test videos, in fact, was not so nicely balanced after I started editing it in Movie Maker (and yes, I know I really need to get a better editing program). So expect the in-game volume to be a little lower than it should be.

[Guest deleted4349949]

New video is up!! Added to the first post... Enjoy :D

[Kayyyleb]

New to the thread but has anyone told you that you sound almost identical to TotalBiscuit it's almost unreal? TB is a rather popular gaming personality who's recently become a Starcraft 2 caster.

 

http://www.youtube.com/user/TotalBiscuit

[Guest deleted4349949]

@Kayyyleb - I'm actually planning on putting up some of my SCII games eventually... It shall be a record of my catastrophic failures and moments of strategic genius as I try to work my way up, out of Gold League :P Maybe I'll toss in the sophisticated British accent now and then just to confuse you :D

Also, welcome to the thread! I'm a few videos in already, but feel free to comment on and/or criticize the LP's past and present - and any future video I release.. I'm always looking for feedback :)

[Kayyyleb]

@Kayyyleb - I'm actually planning on putting up some of my SCII games eventually... It shall be a record of my catastrophic failures and moments of strategic genius as I try to work my way up, out of Gold League :P Maybe I'll toss in the sophisticated British accent now and then just to confuse you :biggrin:

 

Also, welcome to the thread! I'm a few videos in already, but feel free to comment on and/or criticize the LP's past and present - and any future video I release.. I'm always looking for feedback :smile:

Haha best of luck with the channel. Might stop by and give you some SC2 pointers even (I'm diamond league). :P

[Guest deleted4349949]

@Kayyyleb - Thanks! And I could totally use some pointers :P I never had much time to play, but at my best I was able to maintain a steady top 10 Platinum ranking. Though now that HotS is out I have no idea what I'm doing again.

Also, working out how I want the next video to play out presently. For those who have watched the most recent episode (p4) it may be apparent that I want to mix up the main story line a bit to keep things interesting and a little different than all the other LP's out there.. at least until I start reaching the point I haven't seen yet.

 

 

 

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(Better to be safe...)
The reading of the Elder Scroll to learn Dragon Rend is the farthest I've been. All I know is that Alduin attacks directly after that, but I wasn't able to beat him and then my save became corrupted thanks to a very haphazard modding process :(
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