What Has Been Your Funniest Adventure?

[LeddBate]

I've had the Touring Carriages mod ( http://www.nexusmods.com/skyrim/mods/38529/? ) since I started playing Skyrim, but was always too busy to bother taking a ride. But just recently I was passing through Rorikstead heading to a quest start far to the South when the carriage driver says to me as I walk by: "Safest way to travel!"

What the heck, I think, might as well. The trip starts out uneventfully. After a little while, the driver suddenly says: "Uh, oh." (Or something to that effect.)

"AH, HA!" yells an assassin (yeah, the Dark Brotherhood has been a real pain to me lately) as he jumps out onto the road in our path, "Now you will diEEEAAIIEEEE!" (SPLAT) Hmm, well, that's serendipity for you.

A few minutes later, as we near a major crossroad, the driver says: "Better hang on." I look up to see a large group of Stormcloaks and Imperials heading towards each other. (No, not Warzones. I'm using Populated Skyrim Civil War.) Anyway, the two groups are charging each other and just happen to start melee fighting right on the road in front of us. SPLAT AAIIEEE! CRUNCH ARRGH! WHAM AUGGH! SCRUNCH GAAHHH!

I lose count after the 12th collision. The handful of survivors don't even continue fighting. They just stare at us as we recede into the distance.

As we near Whiterun, a young woman tries to run up to the carriage saying: "Please sir! Help me! I just esca...AAIIIEE! (SPLAT)

A Whiterun militia man was close enough to see the (most unfortunate) incident. "Stop, criminal sc..." (CRUNCH)

A small child darts out into the road (TRAMPLE) Uhm, sorry?

The carriage finally stops. "Here we are at Whiterun. Watch your step."

Whew! I disembark, wondering if any bounty incurred during the trip is on me or the driver.

"Thanks for the ri..." [OnCellDetach error. > Driver Missing < THIS SHOULD NOT HAPPEN] "What the..." AAAAAIIIEEEEEEE! (Houston, we have launch)

"Holy $#!%, I can see Solitude from up here!" I look down to see the ground rushing up at me. "Oh man, this is going to hurt..." WHAM!! (Fade to black)

World swims back into focus. I'm back in Rorikstead. Carriage driver looks down at me and says smugly: "Safest way to travel."

AAIIIEEEEE! I run down the road as fast as I can.

Funniest time I've ever had in the game.

[Nosdrapoel]

Last night I was starting the Aftand portion of the main quest, looting some stuff off the table at the start of the guts of the dungeon, and noticed Lydia was charging down the hall.
I didn't think much of it, and didn't worry too much, because I had given her every health potion I ever came across in the game to keep her from getting killed when she ran in front of a giant or something.

 

Read a book, looted some more stuff, went back up to the first cell to find the khajiit's missing skooma to see if it was there, went, grabbed some food in real life, came back. Lydia was still missing.

 

I went through the dungeon to find her. Every single thing was dead in that thing in Aftand from the start of the dungeon to the mechanism and lift at the end. Even the two warriors were dead.

 

Checked her inventory and she had used all but 3 potions.

 

They should have just made Lydia the dragonborn. You play her housecarl.

Edited February 25, 2014 by Nosdrapoel

[EgoAltar]

I had recently installed Skyrim Immersive Creatures and so was unaware of how nasty the "Night encounters" option can be. My Wood Elf Archer was mucking about in the woods between Riverwood and Falkreath, just south of the lake and I lost track of time. Before I knew it, night had fallen.

 

Now I use an ENB that makes nights dark- like can't see without a torch dark, So I'm fumbling about, trying to find my way back to the road when I hear a wolf howl. "Great," I think, "I'm going to have to fight wolves in almost complete blackness."

 

Something hits me- hard, and I see a pair of glowing eyes. My level 6 character has just run into a werewolf.

 

I immediately quaff a potion and foolishly think for a second that I have a chance. After a few swings that do no visible damage, I realize I have to run for it if I expect to survive. I'd gotten turned around in the melee, so I just pick a direction and sprint, hoping for the best.

 

Shortly, I fall. I had hit a small cliff and dropped down. Good news, I could see because there was a light source, Bad News- it was the candles on that Conjuror's Altar.

 

"Never should have come here!"

 

You got that right, Pal.

 

I hear the *Shrang* of a summoning and now I have a familiar chasing me as well. Ordinarily, I could have stood my ground, but the werewolf had scored a few hits and my vision was awash in blood spatters, my health dangerously low.

 

I bee-lined for the lake and could hear that the werewolf had found the Conjuror (good!) but the familiar was still chasing me. I jumped in the water with the intention of swimming all the way to Riverwood. OF COURSE, I attracted the attention of a slaughterfish. Fortunately, I was able to make it to the Hunter Camp on the Lakeshore and he took care of the fish for me, but my health was at about 5% by the time I made it.

 

I unpacked my bedroll and slept right there.

I in no way "won" that day (other than surviving), but it's one of my favorite Skyrim memories.

[Deleted3507349User]

I ran into the Old Orc out by the weastern watchtower. I foolishly decided to give him an honorable death. When I discovered that this character's attacks were only slightly more effective than showering him with butterflies I turned tail and ran....towards the giant camp to the north. Along the way, that sabre cat pops out. Old Orc took him out with one swing and kept right after me. Out pops a band of bandits. Old Orc makes mincemeat out of them in no time and resumes his pursuit. We get to the giant camp and he takes out one giant before the other one finally stomps him. *phew*

 

Only problem is, now that other giant is after me...resume running! He chased me all the way back to whiterun where a guard in the road took him out.

 

I went to the Bannered Mare to have a good stiff drink, I needed it. While I was there I met a friendly chap by the name of Sam who challenged me to a drinking contest....

[glowbow11]

i was just walking out of falkreath all happy and drunk when i hear an argonian yelling "ill gut you like a horker!!!" he was an assasin.

 

now the funny thing is he was on a cliff about 15 or so meters above me and instead of just walking down the round he decided to just walk down the cliff.

 

"youre dead!!" *SPLAT* and i continued to laugh at the sight of him rolling down the cliff until he is just below my feet and i stare down at him "AAHH" hes dead.

laughed so hard.

 

another thing that happend i just got a bounty on a giant somewhere around whiterun.

so i fast traveled to the camp cause ive already been there, black screen bla bla bla game returns and i take no more then 3 steps to see the marker on the giant floating in the air and the giant there three seconds passed and he started dropping, i was laughing until he got half way down and asked myself "is he going to die?" he hit the ground and stayed stood for a good second when he lied down and died. laughing, i noticed two mammoths launch up in the air "oh no" then dropping down to their death.

"i must be the best bounty hunter ever!"

 

 

 

and the funniest thing that happend to me is quite simple, i was doing some quest for the companions, i was supposed to beat up a guy in markarth so i fast traveled there.

loading screen bla bla bla, back to the game when i hear "AAGGHH" looked to my left and a guy was falling from the wall of the city right down on a guard.

"ill find whoever did this" he said. hahaha

Edited March 6, 2014 by glowbow11

[LordSarcasm]

In the Rift doing what werewolves do. You know, like eating garrisons of soldiers, wasting grizzly bears, etc, when a khajit thief comes along.

"Alright. Hand over all you valuables. OR I'LL GUT YOU LIKE A FISH!"

Thieves are pretty annoying, well when I'm on the receiving end at any rate. But this guy must have escaped from Falkreath State Hospital (It's a nice place, really... :dry:) and I am impressed for trying to mug a freaking werewwolf. When the dialogue comes up I pass his speech check though and he walks off. I eat him anyway because you know I'm a dog, he's a cat, it's a law of nature.

 

I also rememeber my first playthrough when I walked into Whiterun with my new Nightengale dids. Guess who shows up. Everybody's favorite courier. Rain, shine, or dragonfire, if they have a message by Talos they will deliver that message. It's for me. From a creepy guy who didn't show his face (you know which message I mean). I am just standing there fuming. This is just embarassing. I'm a master thief! Scratch that. I AM THE MASTER THEIF! How in Oblivion did he see through my disguise?! Degraded, I take the damn letter from his hands and glare at him.

[LeddBate]

I eat him anyway because you know I'm a dog, he's a cat, it's a law of nature.

 

Now that was funny... :laugh:

 

Thanks to everyone for sharing their stories. Would love to see more.

 

BTW, forgot to mention my other funny adventure. I actually posted it in another thread somewhere.... Hmm, AH, there it is. (Copy/paste)

 

Okay, there's this fort just Northwest of Wolfskull Cave (I forget the name.) I was walking up the road and ran into a party of four Thalmor Justicars traveling Eastward. Naturally, they told me to fob off or else. So I walked up to the fort to investigate, -and was promptly set upon by eight (yes, eight) bandits that came pouring out of the main gate. Now I could have taken them out, but then I remembered the Thalmor just down the road. So instead of fighting, I zig-zagged slowly back and forth, leading the bandits down the trail to the main road.

 

Sure enough, there were the Justicars still sauntering down the road. I ran right through them to a chorus of "Hey!", "Watch it" heavily pursued by a storm of bandit arrows and magic bolts. As one, the Thalmor turned on their heels and started firing lightning and arrows into the bandits. The bandits screeched to a stop and started a fighting withdrawal as the Justicars were truly pissed. I followed along behind, stopping to loot the occasional bandit corpse.

 

When the battle reached the fort entrance, more bandits took up position on the walls firing arrows down at the Thalmor. This caused a temporary halt to the Justicars advance. But then a patrol of Imperial soldiers showed up (attracted by the sounds of battle) and promptly joined the fight breaking the deadlock. Whistling happily, I followed the elves and soldiers into the fort, stopping to strip each corpse I encountered.

 

By the time the battle ended, only two Imperial soldiers limped out of the fort. All of the Thalmor and bandits were dead. I stripped the remaining corpses of weapons, armor and items, then proceeded to loot the fort. Since I've installed a mod that lets you make carrying bags, pouches and bandoliers on a tanning rack, I had plenty of carrying capacity and didn't have to leave anything behind.

 

Sure, I didn't get much combat XP, but I left the fort with over 2,000 gold worth of sell-able loot from the bodies alone (not counting what I looted from the fort.) Best of all, I got to off those stuck-up Justicars by simply leading them into overwhelming odds. Treasure and appropriate revenge. Ahhhh!

 

Edit: This has become one of my favorite tactics when I run into rude Justicars on the road. I simply gallop my horse to the nearest external lair (fort, giant camp, etc.), piss off the inhabitants with a few arrows, then lead them back to the Elves and sit back and have a nice snack while nature runs its course.