Lanceor Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Reading the joke about sharks jogged my memory. :D A cruise boat suffered an engine fire and lost all power and electricity, stranding several dozen holiday-makers at sea. The only way to get help was to swim to shore through shark infested waters to summon help. The captain stepped up and said "Aye mateys, I bin sailin' these waters for thrity years! If anyone can avoid these sharks, it's me!" The captain jumped into the water and was promptly eaten by sharks. Then a religious leader of arbitrary denomination stepped up and said "My faith will guide me through these dangerous waters and deliver salvation to everyone on board." The religious leader jumped into the water and was promptly eaten by sharks. Finally, a lawyer stepped up and said "Once we get ashore, we'll start a class action against this boating company and sue them for millions for causing debilitating emotional distress." With that, he jumped into the water. The people on the boat watched in amazement as the lawyer swam past all the sharks and made it to shore. After being rescued, one of the survivors asked the lawyer how he could make it past the sharks when the captain and the religious leader couldn't? "Professional courtesy" replied the lawyer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Illiad86 Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 LOL nice one :D I got another here..it's pretty old...used to tell it to my friends when I was a kid. There was a king. He had a great castle and many riches. One day he proposed a challenge, "Anyone who can swim across my moat with either get my land, my riches, or my daughter's hand in marriage." The moat was filled with alligators, electric eels, and many other deadly things. Many people tried to cross the moat, but failed. Then one day, a man went into the moat, punched the alligators, got passed the electric eels, and made it to shore. The King was very happy, "You have won my challenge. Do you want my land?" "No", the man replied. "Do you want my riches?" "No", the man replied. "Ah! You want my daughter's hand in marriage", the king exclaimed. "No", the man replied. "Then what do you want?", asked the King. "The motherf***er who pushed me in!!" :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SubjectProphet Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 An eldery patient gets hearing aids from a doctor. After short time, he meets the doctor again. Doctor, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased." Patient, "Oh, I am in a funny situation now. I haven't told my family yet. I just sit and listen to their conversations. In a month, I've changed my will three times!" :turned: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VesemirTheWitcher Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 there is little discernible difference between romance and a jump kick duel. Don't believe me?http://buttersafe.com/comics/2007-08-02-InTheAir.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VesemirTheWitcher Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 Also this!http://buttersafe.com/comics/2009-02-26-HaveYouSeenThisCat.jpg Enjoy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billyro Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 Also this!http://buttersafe.com/comics/2009-02-26-HaveYouSeenThisCat.jpg Enjoy.I don't understand how that is funny. :confused: To me, some of the funniest jokes are told by little kids with their awesome sense of humour. It doesn't have to make sense, but it is still funny. For example, why did the dog pee on the man's leg?Because the man stood there for so long that he turned into a tree. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
REZ01 Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 Ok so I saw a comment today that reminded me of this.. Its a old joke .. but I'm sure there are a couple out Here that havn't heard it So ... Say these words out loud to yourself... over and over till it makes sense... I AM We ToDD DID I Am sOFA KInG WE TODD Did after the 10th time of reading it. If you havn't figured it out.. then just stop.. and thanks for your time :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nintii Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Just some cute little kids jokes. Q. Why did the one-handed man cross the road? A. He wanted to get to the second-hand shop! Q. How much do pirates pay for their earrings? A. Buccaneer Q. What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil? A. Stop going in circles and get to the point! Q. Why did the computer squeak. A. Because someone stepped on it's mouse Q. How do you tease fruit? A. Banananananananana! Q. Why did Tommy throw the clock out of the window? A. Because he wanted to see time fly! Q. When do you stop at green and go at red? A. When you're eating a watermelon! Q. How do you repair a broken tomato? A. Tomato Paste! Q. What did the hamburger name his daughter? A. Patty! Q. Why did the cookie go to the hospital? A. He felt crummy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now