Using Skyrim to help me go from introvert to extrovert

[Guest deleted4349949]

Hey Nexus :smile:
I recently decided that I was sick and tired of being such an extreme introvert. Playing so much Skyrim, I started drifting into profound (at least to me :P ) thoughts of what it really means to 'live', and what constitutes a life worth living. Anyway, this eventually led to the realization that I was using Skyrim far too much as an escape from life, rather than a form of entertainment. So I decided to flip that around. I created a YouTube channel in the hope that it will serve as a positive influence in my life, and push me to try and connect with people, even if not in person. This would be a place to do all the things I feel I've wanted to do, but have been too afraid or nervous to.

I couldn't imagine a better start to channel than to create a Skyrim Let's Play. Skyrim, especially thanks to the mod community and Nexus, has been such a source of stress relief in my life that it's really the most comfortable video I could think of making without totally freaking out and scrapping all my plans. So I had a few drinks (it's really quite amazing how brave alcohol will make you), turned down the lights, gave it a few test runs, and finally hit the record button for good. Now, after hours of editing and a day's worth of uploading, the first video is ready for viewing.

While my socially anxious brain would be perfectly fine letting it rot among all the other LP's floating around YouTube, my girlfriend is a much friendlier influence on me, and has goaded me into taking the next step - trying to get people to watch, and critique it. So here I find myself, on the Skyrim Nexus forums, inviting anybody and everybody to take a look at what could be the most outgoing thing I've done in years. Though my channel is intended for much more than LP's, this video - the founding video - is for you, Nexus friends... :smile:

 

Let's Play Modded Skyrim (Playlist)
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLaR5vwwVCxC0kj4THxtoQuRHFpgp4SR1W

 

Current Episode(s):

So Unsatisfied's Let's Play Skyrim p22 (The Real Adventure is About to Begin)

http://youtu.be/8LAGqlqxUNQ

 

 

:F

 

 

YouTube Channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/SoUnsatisfied">https://www.youtube.com/user/SoUnsatisfied

Facebook
http://www.facebook.com/pages/So-Unsatisfied/132461306936960?ref=ts&fref=ts

Edited May 29, 2013 by ShiverTwitch

[Jaradin]

Dude, you're trollin', right? You're not introverted! You have the voice of a radio announcer! Granted, perhaps your discipline, methodology and pacing needs work, but your voice definitely carries the weight necessary to lead a "Let's Play video.

 

So let's do this, man!

 

(Though please make future increments in fifteen minute periods. I'm not going to sit down and watch you play Skyrim for an hour.)

[sisterof]

@Jaradin: being an introvert has little to do with speaking ability. It's more about how much energy one has to deploy in social undertakings and how much one enjoys being surrounded by people versus being alone. An introvert may excel in communication and empathy and all things social, but finds engaging in socialization extremely taxing - not to mention the anxiety before, and the "omfg did I do something wrong?" afterwards.

@ShiverTwitch: as Jaradin pointed out, you do have a great voice! I've had a similar experience with Skyrim, which I avoid talking about since I'm still not in good terms with "a simple game changed my way of life", but in a time when life sucks real real real real (ad infinitum) bad, Skyrim was there as an escape route. The game was pure escapism for me in the beginning but then it changed into a life lesson, so I relate a lot to what you described. Your girlfriend gave great advice - exposing yourself to criticism in a controlled environment is the way to go. Kudos for the project and good luck on the next chapters too!

Edit: I'll share criticism later only, right now I'm still actually only taking peeks at things online to better escape the fact I have a hundred university stuffs piling over me. :confused:

Edited April 7, 2013 by sisterof

[Guest deleted4349949]

@Jaradin: If only I were... hell, just seeing that this post got views and replies made me feel sick for a moment :F
Thanks a bunch for the encouraging words though (my gf is peeking over right now saying "See?? I told you!"). And yeah, in retrospect, an hour is really one hell of an LP video. I'll definitely be chopping up the next few into 15-30 mins segments. Do you (or does anybody else) think that seeing the length is off-putting enough to avoid it entirely? Should I remove the video and split it into chunks?

@sisterof: Thank you thank you :D
Yeah, it actually took me... well... months (almost a year) to sit down and actually do this, and even when I was "ready for real", it took another several days to get over the fact that my gf would be within earshot! I'm glad that I could make something that resonated with you, though. tbh, that's my ultimate goal for the channel- to create something that doesn't just entertain, but really resonates with those of us who look to game and the internet as a way of filling areas of our lives that we find to be lacking.

[StayFrosty05]

@ ShiverTwitch....First thing first....'Hello' fellow Introvert.... :happy: ...I am far from comfortable around people also and would rather just shut up and not be seen in the public arena and tend to hide in the game as you have described, though the anon feature of the Internet is a boon for me, am still a church mouse in person though...I also am afraid of judgement, though I know it's ridiculous and doesn't mean much and really need to stop worrying about it. Your doing better than me in exposing your Dovahkin and Game play, I refused to allow strangers to even see my Dovahkin for fear of some nasty comment until a dear friend I made here on Nexus finally managed to convince me I am not the only one who finds my Dovahkin a rather handsome chap (I'm female)...and haven't had any nasty comments made about him since I posted him, so am happy.... :happy: ...will be a long time before I would let anyone watch me play though, my hat off to you Shivertwitch, your doing very well.... :happy:

 

As for your Video....I concur with Jaradin, you need to post it in shorter sitting's....30 minute segments would be my guess....Also may I suggest editing and some RP? I felt your Dovah girl has re-incarnation nailed.... :P ...she certainly does a lot of it.... :P ...and tighten the story, as in a little less aimless wandering in circles and a little more activity, her interacting with the world and doing stuff. I made it through half the video and have to admit I stopped there because all she was really doing is wandering in circles and dying....Have some fun with it Silvertwitch, give her a story and run with it....I am overlooking one of my pet peeves, destroying her stamina .... :pinch: ...why do people do that....gnrgnrgnr... :wallbash: .... :P ...each to their own on that one, just don't be surprised when she doesn't have the stamina needed if things get suddenly ugly.... :ohdear: ...such as wolves attacking.... :happy:

 

But so far so good SilverTwitch, please do not stop recording....I for one, look forward to your next installment...keep it up....Kudo's to you.

[jackowonderful]

anxiety and introversion are separate things.

[gsmanners]

Lovely. But you know...

 

Being an introvert isn't a bad thing. You might want to reconsider "fixing" yourself. The only change people truly need is more sympathy for the poor and needy.

[Guest deleted4349949]

@gsmanners: Oh, I don't consider it 'fixing' myself as much as 'enhancing' myself (and not in the late night commercial sort of way). I know that it's all well and fine to be an introvert, but when it starts getting in the way of how you actually want to live your life.. it's time for a change. Introverts never truly change, anyway. I imagine that I'll always feel more comfortable alone in a dark room interacting with characters that listen to me and do what I tell them (on penalty of death :D ) than in a crowd or at a party - but that doesn't mean that sometimes I actually *want* to be out in the real world with characters -erm, people- that I can have actual conversations with.

 

Creating and sharing the first video (and working on the second right now!) has really been a great experience, and one that I think I needed to have, in spite of the terror knowing that people are now capable of judging me on a level that I've never really allowed them to before.

[bben46]

My suggestion is to get out more - join a club - One possibility is Toastmasters, a club for helping people to become better public speakers - it is ideal for introverts who wish to become more extroverted. They are a support group as well, encouraging you to stand up in front of a group to express yourself. Then helping by giving positive reinforcement as well as positive criticism. There are branches nearly everywhere. I was a member of the JCs (also known as Junior Chamber of Commerce) while in college. I was elected as a fundraising manager for our charity project - where I had to get out and talk to people in all walks - and even make a few speeches and presentations. I presented an award to my old high school principle and got to know him as a real person. It turns out he was as nervous as I was.

 

When you gotta do it because you said you would and other people are counting on you to do it - you learn to do it. I guarantee you will become far less self conscious for the experience - I made a lot of friends along the way.

 

The hardest part is to get out and join something. Once you have done that it gets easier to do. :cool:

[Guest deleted4349949]

Heya! Three more videos on their way... I like to think they turned out to be a nice balance of commentary, rp, and succinctness. I'm eager to hear what you think of them :D my internet sucks though, so I expect they'll be fully up and running in the next day or so. I gave a shout-out to a few of you who posted first (nothing against the rest of you, I just didn't see your posts before I started playing) - your words of encouragement really helped me pull it together and keep going! I'll link the videos when they're up.

 

@bben46: Yeah, I joined a few local groups on meetup.com but haven't had either the guts nor the $$ to join any of their get-togethers. Tbh, I can't really afford 'get out and join something' at the moment - which is one of the reasons I chose this particular route as my method of sharing myself with people.