Defending a friend from a bully?

[HeyYou]

For the most part, simply standing up to the bully will be adequate to the task. No one (in their right mind) relishes taking a hit, but, it is a distinct possibility. Basically, it boils down to this, what kind of friend are you? If you AND your friend stand up to the bully, chances are good that the bully will back down.

 

We had bullies when I was in school. I was occasionally a target of their attentions. I got tired of that in pretty short order. When one of them approached me, and started in, I suggested that he find someone else to push around, (and I did not phrase if very politely either.) he took a swing at me, and yes, it hurt. I figured that I wasn't going to get out of it without some pain, so went all in on him. I had some bumps and bruises, but, I left him on the floor bleeding. I don't think he was quite prepared for the intensity of my attack. I got suspended for a few days, but, that particular bully, and his buds, never bothered me again.

 

On another occasion, I simply picked the ring-leader, and tossed him out a second story window. (it was a short drop, into grass.) He was no longer a problem either.

[WakahisaSensei]

 

I should probably mention that I really simplified the legal concept of "accessory". As with most legal things, there is a great deal more that can be said on that which I skipped.

Will I just turned 25 last month. I'd be afraid to be responsible for someone if that happens you gotta be sorta careful because the attacker if that ever happens his/her family could sue you. Also what if the attacker has or might have affiliation with gangsters or something. So what if I chose to flight for my life if he/she didn't use a gun/knife? Would that be a forgivable especially since I have disabilities & heart surgery when I was little. My area is a safe neighborhood. What about if I ever walk downtown or a beach town with that person? I usually feel comfortable in safe spots. I'm a medium body type.

 

As a 25 year old, it isn't bullying anymore. You are now wholly in the realm of legal and illegal. So if someone is verbally abusing you or another, that can fall under harassment and you can sue. If someone attacks someone else, that's assault or attempted murder, depending on how far they go. If you're in a safe neighborhood odds are none of these people have gang associations. If the attacker is truly a threat to life and limb, you would be forgiven (at least by the law) for running. Your friend might not be so forgiving, and might not consider you to be dependable in a bad situation. Your best option, if encountering a violent attacker is to run, and if possible provide your friend with the opportunity to run. Throw a rock at the guy and run like hell. Definitely contact the police.

 

I don't know how limiting your heart surgery has made you, but I still advise martial arts. As a medium body type you could take a "soft" martial art (such as King Fu) or a "hard" martial art (such as Tae Kwon Do). In soft martial arts you have light flowing movement and use an opponents strength against them. "Be like water, flow and crash"- Bruce Lee.

With a hard martial art, you have a strong rooted stance and deal powerful attacks. Basically becoming the unmovable wall and the unstoppable force. The strongest martial artists in the world tend to learn one or more of each type.

 

Considering your general demeanor, Kung Fu would probably be a good choice. It would have a greater emphasis on dodging as opposed to blocking. When an opponent threw a punch you could use their momentum to throw them off balance and get them on the ground. The movement can be complex, but it works.

 

With Tae Kwon Do, you get simpler movement but take on a bit more risk. You block and counter, hard. Block the punch, deliver a crushing blow and break some bone.

 

Then there is Krav Maga, the Israeli Martial art, widely held as the most efficient martial art in the world. It blends hard and soft techniques but has a lot of grappling. Certainly the best for disabling/disarming an opponent, but hard to find a teacher outside of Israel or New York. The biggest benefit is that most teachers are ex-masad (Israeli government operatives) so they really know their s#*! and have been in intense situations. They've definitely used it in real life.

 

Russian Martial arts, particularly Systema, are known as the worlds deadliest martial art. You have to be big though. But I once saw a video of a russian bank robber up against Russian Swat. The bank robber became more scared when the officer put his gun away. So...there's that.

 

Jeet Kune Do is the most balanced and blended, taking the best elements from most martial arts. But it takes increadible cardio because of constant movement. But it makes it highly unpredictable. Often the untrained opponent won't be able to react until its too late for them.

 

There are so many options. Might be good to do some research. But you definitely seem like the Kung Fu type. It falls in very well with your personal preferences. And you'll probably never use it for fighting.

 

 

Martial arts is a way of life, not just fighting. It's a way of seeing the world, maintaining good health, and building your character. I feel in your training you'll find your own personal answer to your bullying/criminal question. You'll make some new friends too. If you have family, they might be willing to join up with you. If you have kids, definitely enroll them. Better to know it and not need it, than to need it and not know it.

 

Depending on where you live and how threatened you feel, you can also consider applying for concealed carry (a pistol license). Personally I'm not fond of guns, but I believe in the right to gun ownership. Maintain good gun safety principles and practice with it frequently at the range should you decide to get a license. Either way take martial arts. It's good for a person in so many ways.

[WakahisaSensei]

For the most part, simply standing up to the bully will be adequate to the task. No one (in their right mind) relishes taking a hit, but, it is a distinct possibility. Basically, it boils down to this, what kind of friend are you? If you AND your friend stand up to the bully, chances are good that the bully will back down.

 

We had bullies when I was in school. I was occasionally a target of their attentions. I got tired of that in pretty short order. When one of them approached me, and started in, I suggested that he find someone else to push around, (and I did not phrase if very politely either.) he took a swing at me, and yes, it hurt. I figured that I wasn't going to get out of it without some pain, so went all in on him. I had some bumps and bruises, but, I left him on the floor bleeding. I don't think he was quite prepared for the intensity of my attack. I got suspended for a few days, but, that particular bully, and his buds, never bothered me again.

 

On another occasion, I simply picked the ring-leader, and tossed him out a second story window. (it was a short drop, into grass.) He was no longer a problem either.

That'd do it. It usually doesn't require fighting but sometimes that's the option. Curious, when you say they were no longer a problem, did they ever try to approach you as a friend afterward? Or did they just avoid you from that point? Furthermore, did you step in if they bothered someone else in your presence?

[pricelessppp]

If you don't defend a friend, then you shouldn't consider yourself that person's friend.

Take that back. I just don't want to be assaulted or threatened or go under protection or kidnapped. I have mild social anxiety. And can't handle the legal repercussions. I'm a medium kinda folk.

Edited November 3, 2018 by pricelessppp

[HadToRegister]

 

If you don't defend a friend, then you shouldn't consider yourself that person's friend.

Take that back. I just don't want to be assaulted or threatened or go under protection or kidnapped. I have mild social anxiety. And can't handle the legal repercussions. I'm a medium kinda folk.

 

 

When I posted that I didn't know your situation.

I didn't know you were an adult of 25, and thought that you were dealing with this in highschool.

 

Since you're 25, as WakishaSensei said, you're in the legal realm of harassment now.

[Guest deleted34304850]

ask yourself, what would Jesus do?

[Mudran]

Sometimes when I know I cannot defend the other one publicly I just support that person when the bully leaves. It can do miracles because the worst feeling of bully is that it looks like everyone is on his/her side.

 

But then you have to hope he will not betray you, which is more likely going to happen if it is some random person. But it did happen to me - I tried to defend someone at work, then she turned around, joined the "dark side" because it felt stronger and was promised to be befriended and went both against me - it reminded me why you don't see so many people defend others...

Edited January 25, 2019 by Mudran

[Fkemman11]

I always stuck up for anyone being bullied my whole life. I hate bullies. I'd rather get into a fight than let them have their way because they will only get worse when they think you are scared of them. But it is hard sometimes because I am not a violent person.

[Mktavish]

I'm stuck on 2 key phrases you used ...

 

Beta male bullies

&

Bullies in the news

 

This makes me think Trump is your friend you are talking about.

Cuz clearly the media is bullying him. Which is a common problem from SJW thinking.

 

Actively looking for a situation to step in of victimhood is bully in itself. Which "Bully" as a label is in danger of society using it to bully levels.

 

But why to stop bully behavior in humans ?

I think if we did ... we would find ... we needed it.

 

A bully is a grey scale ... and more directly needs the difference of victim's demeanor ... than the variance of bully.

 

Hmmmmmm.... I was gona say more but will leave it here .

[Mudran]

Interesting question - who can be labeled as bully?

 

A bully is someone who intimidates people, usually those who are weaker or smaller. The classic example of a bully is a mean kid in a schoolyard who hassles or beats up younger students. While a child or a teenager can be a bully, so is anyone who uses power or strength to scare or harm other people.

 

In this case: is Trump in such situation? He definitely doesn't look like a victim, he wouldn't want to see himself as a victim, on the contrary he has all the power and money to hit back, so is attacking him bullying?

On the otherhand director of Bethesda: are attacks on him bullying (or insert any other internet person nobody knows anything about until someone will start attacking him for questionable reasons) is he victim? Maybe he was until recent E3 presentation, which looked like he was trying to hit back - only he was attacking players which had nothing to do with his bullying... So was he bullying players by abusing his position of power (deciding what kind of content will be in Bethesda games), so players are at that point in weaker position, but what if it was provoked - who is bullying whom? (I'm leaving out the question of what if it was decision of someone else, his excitement wasn't fake or some other reasons it could be, just how it felt for me)

But generally the premise is - attacking a person who cannot defend himself - which also can be an employee of gaming company under NDA agreement?

 

Also what about people who will not learn to defend themself, or cannot for religious reasons - aren't they victims because they made themselves victims?

Edited February 3, 2019 by Mudran