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Those "What have I done?" Moments


ClonePatrol

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When my Lunari Vampire went to Fellglow Keep last night with Serana in tow, now that was really quite a sight to behold, two glamorous brunettes in Vampire Royal Armor...freeing all the caged vampires and giving a fangy smile at the resulting carnage as they duked it out with the Fellglow mages. Followed by picking off the survivors. That was when I realised that the lovely Shen Li was getting far too into this "thrill of evil" business...
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So, playing Dawnguard, most of the missions Gunmar sent me on gave me this feeling, since he was basically using me as a hitman to take out vampires that haven't really done anything to me. The worst was when I had to talk Vivienne Onis into telling me where this vampire was hiding, even though they were apparently friends. That's when I stopped going to Gunmar for quests.

 

I mean, it's one thing if I run into vampires while exploring and they try to murder me. That's just ordinary self defense, nothing personal. But I don't feel alright going out looking for them specifically so I can kill them. And sure, I have been known to accept bounty missions from the Jarls, but at least they have the authority to issue them. Gunmar is just some bearded dude who likes to tame trolls, he can kill his own damn vampires.

 

Killing The King In Rags and helping Thonar certainly left me feeling disgusted. It's a pity the Forsworn are so blindly vengeful, I might have helped them if they were otherwise.

 

It's funny, because for me it was the other way around. I actually pretended to go along with Madanach until we reached the exit of the mine and he gave me the armor reward.

 

Me: "Right, now that you've made sure I got all my weapons and equipment back, and was kind enough to send your men ahead leaving the two of us alone, I believe there is just one final issue I need to take care of."

 

Madanach: "What issue is that?"

 

Me: "You have completely forgotten why I'm here, haven't you?"

 

Madanach: "What are you talkiBLAAARRGH!"

 

Me: "That's for Eltrys and *stab* that's for Eltrys' father and *stab* that's for Mrs Eltrys and *stab* that's for Eltrys Jr and *stab* that's for all the pointless suicide missions you ordered and *stab* that's for sending an orc to beat me up and *stab* that's for all the melodramatic garbage you'd keep spouting all the time and..."

Edited by Relativelybest
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Destroying the Dawnguard as a vampire. The Vampire Lord power is cool but the Vampire side feels kind of unfulfilling. I guess I preferred playing as the Dawnguard better, being a vampire made me sick to my stomach at times.

 

So, playing Dawnguard, most of the missions Gunmar sent me on gave me this feeling, since he was basically using me as a hitman to take out vampires that haven't really done anything to me. The worst was when I had to talk Vivienne Onis into telling me where this vampire was hiding, even though they were apparently friends. That's when I stopped going to Gunmar for quests.

 

I mean, it's one thing if I run into vampires while exploring and they try to murder me. That's just ordinary self defense, nothing personal. But I don't feel alright going out looking for them specifically so I can kill them. And sure, I have been known to accept bounty missions from the Jarls, but at least they have the authority to issue them. Gunmar is just some bearded dude who likes to tame trolls, he can kill his own damn vampires.

 

There's a reason he doesn't do that. He's busy making weapons/armor and taming the trolls. They have to spread the workload somehow, right? The other Dawnguard members don't just sit around drinking mead, and if you're a member, there's no reason why you should either.

 

Granted I do see where you're coming from, I felt guilty after that, too.

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There's a reason he doesn't do that. He's busy making weapons/armor and taming the trolls. They have to spread the workload somehow, right? The other Dawnguard members don't just sit around drinking mead, and if you're a member, there's no reason why you should either.

 

Eh, I've been chasing after Elder Scrolls and tracking down an ancient divine artifact with the power to blot out the sun. I don't think Gunmar has any business accusing me of procrastinating.

 

Besides, what exactly makes me a member of the Dawnguard, anyway? I mean, I don't remember taking any oaths or signing any binding contracts, and it's not like Isran is paying me. I just went there to see what they were up to and the dude was like: "You're in, grab a crossbow and go check out that cave for me, will you?"

 

Really, I rather consider myself loosely allied with the Dawnguard, which is good because their leader is clearly a dangerous extremist.

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The questline in Markarth with the Forsworn. I kind of ended up in the city due to the "A Night to Remember" quest. I had never been further than the Sky Haven Temple and my only interaction with the faction had been in clearing out the encampment directly in front of the temple.

 

Skyrim was also my first Elder Scrolls game, so I had no idea about any of the lore behind the series. Throughout the Forsworn questline, I had the nagging feeling that I knew what they were. I recognized the name, but I didn't put two and two together until we were all free from the mines and they gave me the armor and started killing the guards.

 

I literally said "Oh dear God, what have I done?"

 

The guilt trip that the townspeople give you didn't help, either. It was a long while before I was able to go back to Markarth as that character (I don't delete characters because they do something bad; I simply weave it into the story).

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Good topic, guys!.. And I enjoyed reading all your posts.

 

I had many "what have I done?" moments playing Skyrim (more than I did in Oblivion or Fallout).

 

In the DB quest, I would have loved to kill Astrid rather than her prisoners I knew nothing about - but I refrained because I wanted to see where that questline was going (lucky it's a game and we can "reload", makes you wonder what we would have done if we'd been born in a Nazi family in the 1930s...).

 

I also hated murdering that poor whatever-her-name-is on her wedding day - and looting her wedding dress in case I wanted to use it for my PC's in-game wedding (yech!..).

 

And I still can't find a good excuse for having murdered the Emperor - if it did not help get rid of the Thalmor, what was the purpose of it then?!...

 

There are also things I NEVER will do, no matter the "it's only a game" excuse: I'll never buy the torture room for the DB - I'd gladly set fire to all of Skyrim's torture rooms if I could. And there are many Daedra quests I will simply never finish because they require sacrificing random NPCs - I don't care if I don't get the full damn Steam "achievements" for completing these quests - I don't want to get any kind of reward for being a monster, even for "role-playing" sake. 'Course it's just a game, but I nonetheless think that if it would not hurt anyone "real" that I achieve these quests, it would still somehow hurt... me.

 

I guess it's one of the interesting things about these games - they sort of challenge you to find out where you actually draw the line in your imagination...

 

Interesting too that you gain power and rewards and titles for completing many immoral faction quests, but gain absolutely no reward for being heroic and ridding Skyrim of Alduin's dark schemes... See the bug there?..

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The two things that made me feel like a sick excuse of a human (in Skyrim) are not being able to let the other two hostages go in the 1st DB quest after killing one (and leaving them to die), and then having to kill Nilsine Shatter-Shield, who lost her sister to the Butcher of Windhelm, because Muiri, who ordered the hit, said that if Nilsine is also dead, then Tova Shatter-Shield will HAVE to accept her almost as a surrogate daughter.

 

Also, I had to lead an unwitting victim to the top of a mountain, tell them to touch the Pillar of Sacrifice, then kill them to appease the twisted desires of Boethiah. And I had to rescue, then kill a priest of Boethiah for... wait, he deserved it.

 

I also once killed two Vigilants of Stendarr, and a random woman, for no reason whatsoever.

Edited by Dovahkiin234
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Turning into a werewolf, brutally and painfully murdering cute little foxes and rabbits, and then eating their hearts made me feel like my character was no longer a saint.
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