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myrmaad

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Posts posted by myrmaad

    At what time does parental discipline become abusive and who should ma

    in Debates

    Posted

    I never "reason" with a child.

     

    I explain my reasons, I explain what we're doing, but debate is not fostered. (Otherwise you could be here forever thinking of answers to "why?") On the other hand I avoid saying "because I said so". I don't think that's fair or encourages them learning how things work.

     

    When the child is very young, they normally get used to me just picking them up and moving them to wherever (either away from danger or toward the goal).

     

    I think some people talk a child to death, so to speak.

     

    I changed my first diaper at age 9, (my first niece), and I had my first nanny job at 19, and I taught Head Start in the 80s.

     

    One of my grandnephews is mentally disabled and has behavioral problems, but he is responding positively to my methods, believe me I didn't think I'd see the day, he's a tough case. But he's been doing very well, and guess what his currency is: time with us.

    Kids or No Kids?

    in Debates

    Posted

    I had a strong reaction to what you said.

     

    Money is not everything, though it's a means to an end and so can be very important. But if you want money that's a very strong reason to do something other than teach.

     

    I'm from a long line of teachers, and the one we all revered the most was my great aunt who taught my dad in school, and never had children of her own, (I was named after her). I loved her so much I consider her one of my grandmothers, (my favorite in fact).

     

    The best thing about her, was that she always saw the good in everyone, she had a knack for finding that which made you unique and special and "shining it".

     

    And this brings me to the nature of perceptions. I personally thinks it's an unfortunate character flaw to see flaws where there are diamonds.

     

    For example my father, whose world view was shaped so intensely by my great aunt of whom I speak, always said things to me like:

     

    "reach for the stars, and if you fall short, you still have something."

     

    You can't be a failure unless you decide you are. Dreams don't have to be dashed, dreams can grow with you, and happiness isn't about money, but about living a life that allows you to be content and peaceful at its end.

     

    My point is, I will never allow someone with such a negative attitude near my little girl. She's smart, beautiful, and I'm going to make sure that she has every possible opportunity open to her for whatever she wants to do or be in her life.

    Soulmates

    in Debates

    Posted

    http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c117/SeaBlossom/icons/more%20icons/WALL_OF_TEXT.jpg

     

     

     

    You make a lot of assumptions.

     

    I didn't really answer the question. I do believe there are some who can mate successfully with a variety of partners. (Meaning I don't believe in "the one" exactly.)

     

    But in spite of the magical thinking that the term "soul mate" seems to require, by that I'm talking about a relationship that is not only lasting, but I would describe it as characterized by the incomparable feeling of being "home" when you're with each other.

     

    Astonishing as you might find this, I was actually quite precocious, growing up at warp speed due to my mother's death when I was 12.

     

    My husband was the first relationship I've ever had where I didn't get that "chew your arm off" feeling, you know, the one where you wake up one morning and start gnawing my arm off to get away. Thirty years later, I'm still 'home'.

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