From Day Dreams of a Spaced Out old Man comes

[Pagafyr]

The synopses of my thoughts sent out messages from all the words I received at a time when I was so young, I didn't know what I got.

 

Clearly I see, what it is that is the matter with me! I am old, like a baby some only old and could or would be fearful of Death's calling.

 

For some reason I have no concept of fear for Death. I can live like an old hermit with a little table set, so Death and me, can share some time. Maybe play a video game for two.

 

Afterward I will go peacefully along the path with Death. After seeing Death's waiting room I will probably only argue about what Death should do with Death's waiting room.

 

Get some VR PC sets and let all those souls play that are crying all the time.

 

So crowded and filled with teary eyed souls. All in that little shelter outside the reef off the shore to the other side. All begging for coins. Two coins they need to pay the boat man to get across. Seriously, if you take them two coins off of your relatives corpses eyes, they will be waiting for you at the river Styx's angry as...

 

I must have been robbed. But now that the place is set up with video games with Virtual Reality sets; who cares about getting across the river. Just to start all over in a different body and life again.

 

At least that seems to be what video games tell us. Your story came to an end! Would you like to start over?

[Pagafyr]

Where's the Party!?!

[Pagafyr]

I was up all night dreaming while I was awake. What a weird experience I had. I mean; I have had some dreams about video games while I was actually asleep. I must have eaten something. Well, the raisin bread with cinnamon swirls is a bit out dated, but I heated it in the microwave first to kill anything that might begin to turn to mold.

 

Anyway I was sitting here feeling sorry for myself. The fact I am getting older and not wiser slipped in shaking me so I started thinking of songs from the gospel list. When I thought of one that seemed appropriate and began to use my minds musical synaptic functions stirring up the orchestral instrument's and thinking of the singer singing the words. I thought for sure I would lay down and slip into dream land.

 

Instead. I spent the entire night living in the past with an examination of the lyrics to the song. When the lyrics came round that talked about angels coming for me I felt my self flipped.

 

I mean it was like the world remained stationary and I was suddenly upside down not touching the blankets, mattress, or pillows. Suddenly I was seeing from the eyes of another person. Don't judge me! Just read...

 

I wandered out of town to the east, traveling east as a story I knew by heart suggested. Ishmael got so angry he walked along the street knocking top hats off of gentlemen and sneered at the fine dressed ladies.

I was feeling that way about everyone in town. I read the book where he stopped, turned around then walked out of town. He followed the river to the east.

I remembered those words and saved myself some trouble, just by packing up and taking to the road. Everyone knew how frustrated I was getting. Living in a town full of rich old people who have children who constantly made their life miserable for them. Crying with their hands out having to beg for money from their rich fathers and mothers. Then they would go meet with all the others they were friends with get drunk and act like they were as rich as their parents. Fridays!

After being tossed around by their group when I was too young to fend for myself I grew up avoiding them. That was difficult in a town with only one hundred and forty people.

Until I was sixteen. I had gotten so tough I could take a beating after being knock around by the six of them. So many times. After I beat them all senseless last night I decided to leave them laying in the dust until I was out of sight. I figured they would drag their wounded pride off to their club and drink the place dry.

That one night I decided to put my ear to the window and listen to what they were all saying.

After they jumped me just a bit before dark. Until I was sixteen nobody was outside and saw them trying to tackle me in the street. I never made it to the street from the alley before where they jumped me. They beat me down on the ground before! They did.

After last evenings brawl they went to their cups. Only this one time I didn't go down even a smidge. I whooped them senseless. They came at me the week before and I nearly whooped them that time.

Jumped me right out back in the alley by the pen. The horses made such a racket my uncle closed the shutters so he didn't have to listen.

For once things were different. I wasn't as slow, bigger, and could see them eye to eye. I could smell the booze on their breath. I knew they were half crocked.

Another couple of rounds would have been all they needed to have knocked them selves out. I sat with gramps in the corral last night. Gramps told me about fighting men. They was as slippery as snakes because they were limbered up on liquor so they would be like lightning striking every time they stepped in and threw a punch. Drinking a bit before the fight. He told me that drinking with a purpose always served the purpose. He pointed to his private beer making crock. Have a mug just before quitting time tomorrow.

As he suggested I drank a mug of old grand dad's home made beer. I figured, why not. From what he told me it would save me from the solid punches leaving me with no painful bruises if I drank just enough to limber me up. He said too, You will be able to take a punch and throw a couple more because for a short time the spirit from that beer will make you swift. It sure made my moves quick when I was your age. They made my moves slick and fast.

When they jumped me I dodged ducked and threw a round house at the nearest jaw before they even touched me. Their whisky was a bit stronger than my beer, but they didn't know about my old grand dad's crock in the basement. They never knew that, as dusk grew near, I was just as slick as they were when they arrived and attacked me from the shadows in the alley.

Many times in the mornings before those Friday afternoons I stared at those old folks walking along the side walk. After hearing how their children talked. They bragged about me pissing my pants and crying as they whooped me down. Even after I bested them all and walked away leaving them in the street for all to see.

I learned from that book. After I learned the reason for whisky and beer. Some good it did me. I chose to reason with what the book learned me.

Thanks to the beginning of the story mother told me before I went to sleep at night I knew I would be better off following the path Ishmael took. Become a whaling man. I packed up to leave town. Only stopped awhile to listen in on the rich boys at their hang out. What they were saying made me sick. What they planned for the next Friday gave me cause to be brave and skedaddle.

That night I barely made it to the bend in the river.

Seemed like twenty miles went under foot, but not as far as the crow flies. As the beer wore off I got so tired I rolled my fart sack out under some brush to hide me from passers by until morning. I wasn't thinking clearly. I thought I was. I had traveled weaving along half out of my mind on malted barley beer. That's for sure.

My head was aching when I woke up. I didn't know to bring any of grand dad's brew to keep the dragon's breath back. I dragged myself out of the rough breaking branches. The noise seemed so loud I thought people might have heard it all the way up the river in town.

I looked around through the slits my eyelids made. The light hurt my eyes. I struggled to get to the river bank. I started to bend down and wash. I slipped and fell in the water. I dragged myself out of the muck. Used my wet sleeve to wipe the muck from my eyes. I reached out to grab a branch to steady me when I stood up. I felt the branch and thunder struck my ears.

I looked up and saw a shadow with clothes hanging on it. Then big white teeth shown from it's head before the thunder rolled out again.

A deep solemn voice said, From the smell of your breath I'd guess you drank some malted barley beer son.

I looked up again. I could have swore you were my shadow staying out of my body because of the pain I'm in.

Ha! Ha! Ha! That's the first time anyone's called me a shadow. Ha! Ha! Ha! You know, I think I am going to let this fish I caught live.

He held out his hand to give me a lift up. The palm was like white dirty snow. He grabbed my shoulder and pulled me up.

Yup! Fish. Your words spared me some bad feels I might have half expected from your kind. Instead you made me feel better. So, come on! I'll keep you breathing cause I like ya.

I'm going to splash some of that muck off ya so you don't sour my day later on.

He meant what he said. He pulled me out of my cloths. Threw me into the slow water, splashed it around my face, dragged me up lifting me off the ground like I was a baby, and planted me on my bare feet. Dried me off and stuck me into my fart sack to wait while he washed and hung my clothes on branches to dry.

He laughed at the sight of me in that white bag bundled up. Bent over and suddenly quit. You know son, I never thought much about anyone else being different until you called me a shadow. Some time ago when I was a young man sitting on my father's knee he told me a story about a shadow man. I had forgotten all about it. Til this morning. Thanks to you!

He quit talking. Starting gathering twigs from the bushes dead branches. I got the shakes because I drank grand dad's beer. Shook so bad. He put his hand on my forehand. The warmth from it felt like my mother's when she'd caress my bumps and bruises from the fights. He looked in my eyes. He pulled back.

Yup! Lucky for you, I speck you only drank one mug. I swear I will get to heaven now. Thanks to you and your learned words. Where did you learn to talk like that?

A book! I read a book.

You look like white trash to me. You a rich boy running away from home? Only rich boys know how to read.

Mother taught me. Told me the story. Then she got the book from one family tossing old books out. Taught me how to read with it. I knew it by heart cause she always told me the story before I went to sleep.

She don't call you Ishmael; do she? Pardon me! I'm slipping back into an old habit. I'm home educated too. So, what's your name?

My name!?! I don't rightly know. I've been called so many names. Just so they got my attention. Wait! I know! Son. That's what mother always called me.

You probably are familiar with a lot of names then. Ha ha ha.. Lot of mean names. That would explain why you didn't flinch when I called you son a while ago. Other whites would have barked orders at me, even white trash boys tend to want to fight rather then parley with us blacks. So educated white; son; where you headed? Going after the white whale?

Better than knocking the hats of the old men and sneering at the old ladies.

i know them words from that story too. I aimed to go fishing up north. Where a black man can live and breath free. Further up the coast from slave country. Last night I was cutting through the field to the house gate to slip by Henry. Getting on in age Henry is almost always sleeping on the job.

While I was hiding beside the house checking him out I was near a window. I overhead some talk. I decided I was cowing out and going to turn back.

I heard words about angels. The angels in stories told by the old man in our cabin when he caught us boys sneaking out.

He said, if you see the angels wings white as snow, the light above their heads bobbing up and down as they flap their wings, don't stop to wonder what they're doing. They're after one of us, going to carry one of us off to the woods. Tie a rope around us and lift us up into the heavens.

I felt my blood run cold when I remembered. Then Henry gurgled in his sleep. Thought he was awake and going to stop me cold. Then and there.

I knew if them angels were coming after me I'd be going to a better place, until that night. What I heard then, them talking about in the house while I was outside the window, I thought they could call up the angels from heaven to come down to Earth. I heard the man of the house saying. He'll think we're angels.

He came out of the house dressed in a white gown with a hood almost pulled down over his head. I saw he was going down the road the way I was planning to. I decided stay out of sight and follow. I followed and saw what he did. You, you reminded me of the story Father told me. I remembered the story. After all these years. I made it this far staying in the shadows. I've become the Shadow man. Staying in the shadows out of the fire's light.

Down the road a ways the master in his white cloths met with more men dressed in white all the same. All riding horses with white cowls on the horse's heads too. They had a chariot.

Two wheeled wagon the minister was riding in. He too dressed in white. They kept on going down old farmer Brawn's dirt road. There were some woods past that old farms field. I had been to a tree there. Biggest tree I ever have seen.

I ran to keep up with the white men. When I was near the barn I realized where they were going. I leapt over the fence. Seeing they were heading toward the cabins the slaves lived in on Brawn's lands. I strove to get there fast. I knew if I ran across the field I would get there before them.

I arrived as their torches turned the corner south of the cabins. One man stood on his porch. The men started whipping their horses. The hooves sounded like thunder, their cloaks looked like angels flying in the wind. Their torches bobbed up and down giving light shown through their cloths.

The man on the porch was older, but not so old he couldn't run. He saw and heard the distant noise. He saw the white cloaks flapping on the breeze.

The angels are coming after me. He said. A band of angels are coming after me! He said again. I see a chariot is coming for to carry me home.

I grabbed him. Shook him! Follow me! Run! Now!

Everyone else run to the barn! He stood stone cold still from fear.

God's sending his angels to take me to heaven.

I told him what I heard my master saying to the others. I dragged him down the steps. Drove him off into the dark. Stamped my feet to remind him how to run.

He took to flight. We ran until we got to the river. He sank down on his knees. The lords come to carry me home. He crawled to the river bank and slipped into the water. I saw the death mask on his face. His grabbed my hand. His grip on me was tight. It pained me so much I thought my fingers might be broken. Then he let go. The water swallowed him.

I felt the shakes again. I looked at him, shadowman. I got out of the fart sack. Now that you mention it! As soon as them rich boys get over their shakes they are going to discover I am gone. About an hour before dusk they'll be getting started to hunt me if it was fight night.

That was last night. If they figure out I have left they might get drunk and decide to find me a few days earlier than usual. So! They'll be coming after me by evening time. They'll likely use the hounds to track me down. On horse back they will be here before long. Daylight is all that's keeping us apart for now.

I pulled my trousers off the branches. You know! I think you might have the right idea. Going up north to go fishing. Mind if I join you? After my first day after drinking I don't feel so tough without family around me.

I pulled my shirt off the branches. We'll have the whole day to get a good head start.

I put my shoes on. When we're gone and far away. I will tell you my story. Right now.

Pulling my jacket on. I am going to put mom's care package in my fart sat. My book.

Rolled up my fart sack. Let's get a move on. I want to get as far away from here as I can.

How about it? Would you mind if I joined you and went fishing up north? Shadowman!

As we run along the river bank he pointed to places where he could disappear and with a little luck I could hide too. Just giving you some idea he said, about what shadows work best.

Yeah! You're so black you could hide in the shadows in the daylight. When the hounds aren't on the fox's scent you'd have no trouble at all.

You know! You are going to be a hard man to forget Son! I think while we're out and about together I will think of a better name to call you. Me; calling you Son, even where everyone is free it might cause a few jokers to get a twisted mind and want a word. What do you say?

Agreed! When we've gotten a lot farther away and can rest a bit.

Then, we can toss some names around the fire to see if any of them fit you.

By the way. What's your name?

My folks call me, John.

John! Hey! I heard a whistle. I looked in the direction it was coming from. Did you hear that?

A train whistle? I believe so Son. We must be close to the tracks. You thinking what I am thinking?

John pointed as we ran. I can see a bridge up ahead. If we can catch up with it there it'll be going slower. That trains our chance to break any trace of your scent the dogs would find. The smell of train oil from the coal burning car will stop them dogs noses cold too.

It's likely going all the way north. I glanced over at him.

He winked at me. His voice sounded like an angel singing as I heard John say; that chariots coming to take us home. Let's go! Run faster! We got a chariot to catch.

[Pagafyr]

I am not having any more dreaming while awake moments. It appears the outdated shelf life of some raisin bread may have triggered an allergic effect.

 

Noting all the other food and water I have mingled this day hasn't given me any kind of upset. The two slices of raisin bread with cinnamon swirls I ate with lightly salted butter yesterday at noon set comfortably in my tummy, but launched my mind so I flew up and upside down like rocket ship going into orbit outside the Earth's Atmo..

 

For a moment I was feeling like the journey I experienced was a launch for an interesting story. Dreaming while I was asleep had my focused attention on possible DLC material for Hogwart's Legacy. They haven't announced any, yet.

 

I was thinking about the open air when I awakened from dream sleep. Launched out of sleep quickly.

 

I wondered what I thought that triggered my move from dreaming sleep to awakening so swiftly? There was that word that launched me from dream sleeping. Maybe it was lunch?

 

It was 07:30 AM MDT when I saw the light up numbers on the clock. I immediately shifted in the covers to get back the warmth on my forearm. I forgot about what the dream sleep in video lifelike game state played on my mind. Returning from a conversation that was purely not unusual in any chatting way didn't motivate me to write about it in my Dream Sleep Journal.

 

There's a tick, tickling one of my brains parts that tingles now. A mystery mingled with much of the days news cast has begun puzzling me. A very prominent shift forward for us humans suggests we might actually be setting foot on planets in our solar system. Then the other end of the stick putting pins of pain on memories I already own up to that are for the Week End Warriors now. Not my kind of trained purpose. So many countries all closing in on one of two countries in an effort to bring negotiations, so they say, that might bring War to an end.

 

The messages from several news services wore out my mind. Tired; I laid back. I closed my eyes to let the inner thoughts find associations to their subject matter. I opened my eyes. I had slept. For when I opened my eyes I found I was facing east. I laid down with my head face up.

 

I saw the plush pillow I bought because I thought of a relative that might like it. It was laying there next to me. I didn't remember what it was at first. A rabbit? For a moment the fog kept me wondering what a cute little yellow fellow with a baseball cap on could be doing in my dream. I tried the air to see if I was awake. The air had not warmed any since I awakened the first time.

 

Then it's features rose up into my mind. A detective movie character helping a guy remember. So am I, trying to remember. What a coincidence.

 

I can't quite make out what the little characters name is so I am going to put this in a search engine to see what I learn about it. Refreshing my memory. Search info: A little yellow creature with a baseball cap that aided a detective in a movie. Answer is: Detective Pikachu.

 

So, Detective Pikachu is a sign. Instead of a young living relative of mine I appear to have subconsciously been thinking about my own situation when I saw the plush pillow at Game Stop. Thus it suggests I need some aide in remembering what I was doing so I can get back to doing what I may do now.

 

Going into a video game store thinking I am buying stuff for someone, something I don't need. But as I am an elderly man I might really need a Pokeman to nudge me back into focus more sensibly in my stage of elder reality confusion.

 

Now I am sure I was and am, trading my youthful memories back to my old self suggesting a detecting player helping me. I understand how our past experiences help us form our life in the ongoing future occurrences. Adding advancement in my present to I need to take hold on ideas that I may add for the future I may still make. Make; like in create.

 

Hm? Time to build upon what I can do that may well provide a better environment for living where I would be more attentive too?

Creating an architect type blueprint and then launch the plan for making my own style of living space. Ah! That is the door I have been looking toward. Every game I play has a construction kit or architect building materials. Morrowind to No Man's Sky have that similarity.

 

Building a home for the main character to realize their own personal place created for them from their association to one of the main club houses or owning a planet.

 

Ah!!! I don't belong to any one of the houses like in Morrowind. That's what the problem is. I've been a free lance salesman for so many years I lived in motels, hotels, even slept while on planes, slept in buses, even in cabs. I know how to power nap. Always on my way to the next place I had to go to earn more money so I could settle down.

 

Ha ha ha! Settle down!?! Now that I think about it. That is funny. Ha ha ha.

Give me a Star Ship so I can go find a planet where I can settle down. Ha ha ha!

I guess I better get over to SpaceX and buy a ticket to ride to my next place to earn money so I can settle down. On Mars. Or! Maybe Jupiter!? RoFLOL

 

I know I am going to sleep well tonight! Thx for reading. Thx, Game Stop, for introducing me to Detective Pikachu.

[Pagafyr]

Ah! The show of shows.

 

Now, where did I leave my 3D VR headset? Oh! That's right! I don't have one because no one is throwing them away!

 

I am surrounded by toys no one wants anymore. These Santa doesn't recycle. I have the power armor head gear from FO:3 I could have used during Covid-19's arrival to protect me from the young and curious who coughed and sneeze alot before they ever get sick. Just natural evacuation that we had happen as children playing in the fresh air, kicking up dirt, and dust floating around in the pollen from the wheat fields. Just natural.

 

No VR for me! There is no room for me to move around in among all the piles of toys, books, and movies. I'll just have to wait another day to get outside when it is warm so I can move around in Real space.

[Pagafyr]

I'm still laughing about realizing why I felt so disorientated. I am not on the move looking for ways to earn money so I can settle down. I am not traveling to other places anymore. Sitting around just doesn't feel natural.

 

I am laughing at myself for being so old and stupid because it's just like being young and stupid!

 

Stupid is as Stupid does, LOL

[Pagafyr]

Thx for letting me write here.

 

My health condition hasn't gotten any worse.

 

I even had a moment before waking fully that I thought I might have a chance to get a ticket to ride the gravy train all the healthy people that I shared space with when I was like healthy like them. Healthy and happy riding along on a lot of vehicle rides; settled down in seats near each other.

Crazy as it seems to me now! Life's been good to me so far.

Yup! Just for a moment there I was dreaming I could see that golden ticket within my reach.

[Pagafyr]

Now I am wide awake. I played No Man's Sky. I completed the Living Ship quest. Found a group of six planets that not only have never been discovered but they have no detritus from any visitors or have any unknown buildings, no cargo drops, no broken machines, no salvage bits to trade in at the building service on the Anomaly, or capital ship's wrecks laying about.

 

Completely pristine unknown planets. Until I found them. Well, their creator knew about them,

 

Now I have played the game so, and so I realized. I am playing like I might have lived if humans moved into outer space and explored other planets by the time I was old enough to work for a living. Working on finding planets would probably been my life's work. Then Eventually finding planets we could live on.

Nice dream anyway!

 

Shortly after I closed the game link and disconnected from Steam; I began to wonder what it might be like if I had not been injured so I am limited as to what I can do. I wondered what it might be like to feel like I earned a retirement and how to enjoy it. I think I should figure out how to enjoy my life in my old age.

 

Imagining how it would be is making me feel like I could enjoy my old age now and get some well deserved sleep.

[Pagafyr]

Big businesses are preparing to reduce the bagging with paper or plastic.

The generation of adults from 2010 to 2023 are in charge. Someone might have helped them realized plastic isn't as great a product as the generation who were born back in 1994. Do you realize how much plastic there is and the new world generation of leaders in the big stores have realized plastic is NOT as a great an idea as Great Grand parents thought it would be,

 

George Carlin on the topic of plastic.

[Pagafyr]

Right after I posted that last post with George Carlin on the topic of plastic another news flash appeared about the same big businesses.

 

Someone discovered someone put a credit card scanner on a gas pump on a major big grocery and multiple business stores.

 

A Credit Card is made of plastic. Wouldn't you know it.

 

Now back to my game plan for the day. Hm?

 

Not that! Hm? Nope. Hm? Maybe I will go to the Hotel I built and work on it some more in the Utopia system in No Man's Sky? Oh! I know! Hogwart's just got an update. I think I'll go find out what's NEW!